Bring Me to Life
by The Sage of Story
Summary: In the heat of an intense battle, Raven becomes gravely injured and falls into a coma. As each of the Titans suffer the loss of their near-death teammate, they are all asking the same question: Is there anyone, anywhere, who can bring her to life?
1. From the Dark

Summary: In the heat of an intense battle, Raven becomes gravely injured and falls into a coma. As each of the Titans suffer the loss of their near-death teammate, they are all inwardly asking the same question: Is there anyone, anywhere, who can bring her to life?

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama

Rating: PG-13 for mild cursing, violence, and an overload of angst.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.

Author's Note: _What makes us fall in love?_

That, believe it or not, was the question that yielded this fan fiction. Why is it that we tend to fall for some people rather than others? What force binds us to the most unlikely people; what unspeakable emotions cause a shaky friendship to evolve into a deeply passionate affection?

Is it not true that we are often drawn to those who are everything we are not? It is this fact, I've concluded, that causes love to pop up in the most unlikely places. This fan fiction is merely a testimony to that; an answer to those questions. Just a simple answer played out in the form of a plot—a chain reaction of events set to a truly haunting song. A plot set against a backdrop of loss, angst, and tragedy. Because sometimes, is it not only the painstaking power of loss that can bring our true feelings into the light?

Most people stopped believing in the Raven and Beast Boy relationship once they heard about the coming of Terra. However, I don't believe this new Titan is going to be the end of Raven/BB. In fact, her arrival could open a million windows of opportunity for a Beast Boy/Raven relationship to grow (see my profile for more information). Therefore, I encourage my fellow Raven/BB supporters not to lose heart or faith in that relationship.

There were so many times, as I was writing this, that I wanted to give up on it. Number one, I felt like there were many writers out there who were just so much _better_ than me (*cough* Sunshine10 *cough*) that they had already portrayed the R/BB relationship better than I would ever be able to. Number two, people were constantly putting me down for believing in this relationship, telling me it would never happen and breaking my spirit. And then came Terra, who seemed to destroy all the hope anyone ever had in Raven and Beast Boy. Still, I pressed on, and this is the result of that perseverance.

This is a romance, but it's not a hunk of sugary fluff that involves a lot of making out and confessions of "I love you." We all know that the Raven/BB relationship is going to need time to play out, and I'm not going to carry you through the whole process, nor am I going to rush it one bit. This fic is more like describing the first step into romance. If Raven were to become gravely injured and fall into a coma _right now_, how would the Titans react? How would it affect Beast Boy in particular? How would the impact of loss bring him to realize his feelings? This fiction is an attempt to explore the possibilities of what the two characters could be feeling for one another—even, if now, it is only in their subconscious minds. It is an attempt to prove that such a relationship is possible. How could two people so completely opposite from one another be led into an unrealized love? Hopefully, by the end of this fan fiction, you will know why.

I have tried to make it as realistic as possible, and to depict the characters as accurately as I know how. Please don't be afraid to tell me if anyone is OOC, because I consider it to be one of the biggest crimes of fan fiction. And please, again, don't ever lose hope for Raven and Beast Boy. There are infinite possibilities when it comes to this coupling, and there are plenty of people out there who support it as much as you do. Soon, I will be opening a site for all of the Raven/Beast Boy supporters…an amateur one, but a site nevertheless. Whatever happens, don't _ever_ lose your faith…we just have to hope for the best.

With that said, on with the story. 

-Alys

Dedication: For my sister Ariel, fellow Teen Titans fanatic and Raven/Beast Boy supporter. Love ya.

Beast Boy's ears were filled with the sounds of the ICU. The beeping of a heart monitor. A distant cough. And, ironically, the laughing and conversing of the nurses at the front desk.

__

Laughter, he thought to himself. _That would be nice._

Everything here was white. The walls, the ceiling, the elevators. Just…white. A consuming color, blank and empty of feeling. It seemed to dissolve everything in its utter neutrality. At least here, in the waiting room, there was a green-blue carpet concealing the normally white tiles. Beast Boy was thankful for the scarce color.

But he hated waiting.

The restless boy drummed his fingers together impatiently and looked up from the enticing color of the carpet. Beside him Cyborg had draped himself over a cushioned chair that was much too small for him, and was currently reading an ancient issue of _Time_ magazine that he'd picked up from the rack in the corner of the room. The robot's eyebrows were furrowed in conspicuous worry, and Beast Boy knew he wasn't taking in a word of the article on Y2K—he had been reading the same page for over an hour now.

On the other side of him Robin had fallen asleep with his headphones still blasting in his ears, and Starfire was also near, though she was wide awake. The Tamaranean girl's head was dropped hopelessly into her open palms, her eyes tired and her heart heavy. Beast Boy frowned. A depressed Starfire was something he had only seen a few times in the past, and each time he knew that he never wanted to see her that way again.

He had never seen his friends so quiet. At the Tower things had been so vivacious, loud, crazy. And great. Now all that remained between the teens was a deadly, unsettling silence. Though he was usually the life of the group and the center of all conversation, Beast Boy didn't dare break it…really, he had never felt so _serious_ in his life. It was disturbing.

There was nothing to say.

Beast Boy turned his gaze to Patient Room 124, and cringed as he allowed it to linger on the foreboding door. It was where _she_ was…

Where she was dying.

__

No, Beast Boy thought firmly. _Not happening. Uh-uh. Raven's tough. I, of all people, should know. She'll pull through fine._

He wisely averted his gaze from the door and tried to put his thoughts to use elsewhere—but it was futile. Behind that door, Raven was asleep, as she had been for the past two days. His friend was bandaged up and comatose, and he was completely powerless to help her.

They had all been in to see her—to talk softly to her unconscious form, to bring her lifeless body get-well cards and presents—except for him. Beast Boy had not moved an inch from that waiting room in two days. He didn't dare go to visit his injured, sleeping friend—he feared that the moment he stepped in the heart monitor would lose its rhythm and become a deadly, steadfast buzz that went on and on. And then, Raven would never wake up…and everyone would say, _He killed his best friend. He walked in, and she died._

Beast Boy shook his head slightly and directed his gaze, once again, to the hypnotic color of the carpet. Well, it didn't matter. He had no intention of seeing her until she woke up. It had been bad enough to see her get beaten up like that; he wasn't sure if seeing her bruised and battered in a white hospital bed was within his range of tolerance.

***

__

"Titans! Go!"

The adrenaline seemed to pulse through Beast Boy's veins as he obeyed the command and lunged forward at the enemy—a massive, ghostly figure wielding nothing but two immense hands that crushed whatever crossed its path. A single burning red eye pierced the January darkness between the hands, swerving every which way across the deserted alley. A few people in the distance were screaming in fear, which only made Beast Boy's heart race faster as he ascended to the floating monster.

"Titans…" came a deadly, booming voice, "dare you contend with me?" 

"Think you're so tough, huh? Yeah, c'mon, give it all you've got, big guy," Robin called to the thing, smirking out of the corner of his mouth as he pulled out his Bo staff. Beast Boy grinned and immediately morphed into a green rhinoceros, lunging at the monster full-speed ahead. No way _that guy was getting away now—Beast Boy was here._

The rush of power that overtook him gave Beast Boy a sort of high as he trundled toward the opponent. He was goin' down, he was so goin' down—

"Owww!"

Beast Boy quickly returned to his regular form, opened his eyes, and rubbed his aching head confusedly. What happened? Had he just—?

Sure enough, he looked up to find a brick wall towering above him, and realized abruptly that he was sitting on the hard, cold ground at the foot of the massive monster. He had gone right through the ghastly thing and rammed head-first into the brick wall. Oh, that's just great, _he ridiculed himself. _Real smooth.

__

Realizing that the monster was not solid, the other Titans backed away considerably and gazed up at it in fear. During his brief moment on the ground, Beast Boy's dark eyes flickered over each of them: Robin, desperately flinging his grappling hook at an immense vapor hand; Starfire, eyes glowing green with fury as beams of boiling-hot energy gleamed in her fists; Cyborg, aiming his sonic cannon at the other hand determinedly. And Raven…wait…where was Raven?

"Beast Boy."

A monotone voice, accompanied by a pale hand, pulled him to his feet. The metallic-blue eyes of his female teammate met his, and he grinned at her reassuringly as he stood. "Thanks," was his quick reply, and Raven directed her gaze upward to where Starfire was blasting furious starbolts in vain. The dark girl flew upwards to assist her friend, and Beast Boy quickly changed into a hawk and soared after her.

The enemy roared in annoyance as a hand came down and pounded the cement, causing the ground to shake. Robin and Cyborg fell over slightly before quickly regaining their balance. Cyborg's cannon shot blast after blast at the translucent hands, but to no avail.

"Why is it that he can touch US, but we can't touch HIM?!" the robot called loudly to no one in particular…which was probably a good thing, because no one answered him. The Titans were much too occupied at the moment to take much notice of anything but the problem at hand. The monster laughed uproariously in victory.

"Azarath…metrion…zinthos!" a deep voice cried, and Beast Boy instantly turned his keen, birdlike eyes on the levitating girl. Her eyes glowed white with warning as a thick, shadowy substance burst from her hands and pummeled the creature right in its gleaming eye. It staggered back, roaring in pain, and groped wildly at the air around it. Starfire gasped and moved away as a menacing hand whipped the air where she had been floating just a moment ago.

"Good thinking, Raven!" called Robin from the ground, and the enlightened Titans set to work at the monster's newly found weakness. Beast Boy went in for a dive at their enemy and his talons struck the eye with a ruthless vengeance, causing it to gush an oozy white substance that made the creature stumble and groan louder.

Beast Boy soared back up again to let Starfire throw a bolt of green energy at their opponent. Raven was wearing a slight smirk of victory. Beast Boy stole a glance at her and inwardly grinned himself. She looked so nice when she smiled. 

What happened next came so quickly and unexpectedly that Beast Boy wasn't able to register anything for a few moments. First Raven's dark eyes widened in conspicuous fear, her hands at the ready to defend herself—but it was too late. A single misty hand had snatched her up and was squeezing her defiantly around the waist, crushing her in its strong grasp. Raven emitted a sharp cry of pain and struggled within the evil clutches of the monster. "Aza…" she started in vain, then abruptly faltered, unable to draw breath into her lungs. The hand was choking her.

"Raven!" Cyborg called desperately, moving his cannon every which way, at a loss for what to do. Starfire screamed in terror for her friend as Robin cried, "The eye! Cyborg, aim for its eye!"

Composing themselves as quickly as possible, the Titans combined their powers and a medley of green and blue energy struck the ominous eye. Various trinkets from Robin's omnipotent utility belt were thrust forward at the glowing red orb. Beast Boy hovered above, screeching in hawk form, waiting for the blasts to subside so that he could do his part. Meanwhile, he kept a wary eye on Raven, whose expression was one BB had never seen her wear before—one of utter, utter desperation.

In reaction to the sudden blasts from the Titans the monster flailed wildly, screaming in a deafening, high-pitched tone of anguish that made the others briefly cover their ears. The vile creature flung both hands every which way, Raven still in his unbreakable grasp. "Let our friend GO!" Starfire cried in fury, rage burning in her eyes.

Then it happened.

A hand crashed against the wall…hard.

An ear-splitting cry of anguish as Raven's once-strong body was slammed once, twice, three times into hard brick. A short "Agh!" as her side scraped a sharp metal pole that jutted out from the wall. Then silence.

Star yelped and dove for the ground just in time, where Raven fell limply into her arms. The alien girl tried desperately to apply pressure to her friend's wound at the same time as preparing a starbolt in one clenched fist.

This was not happening. This could not be happening…

In a mad rush of anger, Beast Boy plunged at the monster. No way was he getting out of this one.

Beast Boy's talons clawed viciously at the creature's one eye. No stopping. No regrets. This thing had hurt Raven. It had to die. It had to be ripped apart…murdered…no mercy…

The ruthless scraping of talons continued until the monster uttered one last, long wail of pain and swayed momentarily before falling, a ghostly, unconscious figure on the ground. It was gone. Dead. The hawk swooped upward before heading back for the ground and landing breathlessly on his feet in human form.

Cyborg and Robin stared at him, Cyborg's sonic cannon still out, Robin with his grappling hook in hand. They weren't exactly sure what had just happened; they could not help wondering if maybe their friend's single-handed outburst on the foe had been a dream. Beast Boy ignored their gazes and ran toward the girls. Cyborg and Robin exchanged wary glances before rushing after him.

It was the middle of winter. The sky was cloudy and hushed, the calm after the battle empty and consuming. In Starfire's arms, the dark girl, their friend, lay bleeding and unconscious.

Starfire's cries pierced the frigid January air as she began to sob. "Raven—Raven, please—awaken—!" 

***

Beast Boy shuddered at the memory.

The Titans had been relieved to find out that Raven was not dead. Not dead…just sleeping. Just sleeping for an unstoppable eternity.

Suddenly, Cyborg heaved a great sigh and tossed _Time_ on a side table in surrender. "Man, I give up. I couldn't concentrate on anything if my life depended on it."

"I reciprocate," Starfire piped up, lifting her head from her hands and turning to Cyborg. "I cannot bear this waiting any longer. If she does not wake up soon, I fear that I shall—well, I shall—_explode!_" She waved her hands above her head to emphasize her point, then dropped her face into her palms once again.

"Don't we all," Beast Boy muttered quietly, slinging his legs over the side of his chair in defeat. Cyborg smirked. "Yeah, well, looks like the Boy Wonder is taking it pretty easy." He nodded in the direction of Robin, whose head was completely leaned back in his chair and whose mouth was wide open in the refuge of sleep, the incomprehensible banging noises of one of his rock bands playing in his oblivious ears.

Starfire separated her fingers slightly to reveal the tired, but still immensely bright emerald orbs that were her eyes. She peeked at Robin's image through her fingers and emitted something like a cross between a sigh and a giggle before she leaned over and pressed the 'stop' button on his portable CD player. He immediately stirred.

"Wha…? Oh…what'd ya do that for…?"

The boy opened his eyes, yawned widely, and stretched, only to realize that Cyborg and Beast Boy were both shooting him incredibly stony stares. He laughed nervously.

"Sorry, guys. Guess I just…dozed off…" he trailed off and looked at Starfire guiltily. "Thanks, Star. I needed that."

Starfire smiled brightly. "No…prob," she said carefully, inwardly congratulating herself on the proper use of the Earth phrase. Beast Boy and Cyborg exchanged glances, but looked away quickly before one of them started laughing.

Suddenly, Starfire's optimistic face sunk as she remembered the plight of the team…of Raven. She looked at Robin concernedly. "Robin, perhaps it would be best if you returned to our dwelling for the night—to receive rest," she finished quickly, turning to face the others. "Perhaps it would be best if you _all _returned," she added.

Cyborg's mouth fell open. "What? What about Ra—"

"I will stay with Raven," Starfire interrupted softly. Of all the Titans, she had been by her sleeping friend's side the most—they all knew how deeply this had cut her. The teens exchanged wary glances, each of their faces softened in concern. Finally, Beast Boy jumped off of his chair and seated himself next to Starfire, extending his hand and gesturing towards her.

"But Star—what about you?" he asked quietly.

"I will be fine." She looked up at her friends with innocent eyes. "Raven is my friend. I do not mind staying with her."

Cyborg winced, Robin frowned, and Beast Boy stared down at his favored teal carpet once again.

"Besides, you all deserve rest. Tomorrow I shall return to our dwelling place, and one of you will stay with Raven. There is no need for us all to be here at once."

Robin gave a firm nod. "Good idea, Star. We'll go home for the night, and one of us will come for you in the morning; then you can get some sleep and that person will stay here." He glanced around at his three friends. "Any volunteers?"

Beast Boy stole a glance at the dreaded Room 124, and sunk deeper into his seat. All eyes seemed to be on him, anticipating his reply.

"Why me?!" he burst finally.

Cyborg rolled his eyes and scoffed. "I'll do it," he muttered sheepishly, with a venomous look in Beast Boy's direction. "C'mon, guys, let's go. My baby's ready any time y'all are." With that he stood, turned, and ambled towards the elevator.

Beast Boy rose from his seat quickly. "Bye, Star," he called over his shoulder, already in pursuit of the metal man. Robin stood to leave, took a few steps, then abruptly turned back. Starfire's eyes widened as he reached for her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "She'll be alright," he whispered. The alien girl lifted her eyes to him and nodded weakly. Robin released her hand, and silently she sat and watched him go.

***

__

Wake me up inside!

Wake me up inside!

Call my name and save me

From the dark…

Beast Boy wrapped his arms around himself as Robin pressed the button labeled 'Ground Floor' on the elevator door. He was unusually quiet. Well, they were _all_ unusually quiet. The boys stood in grave silence, their backs pressed to the cold metal surface of the elevator, and lost themselves in thought.

Beast Boy felt his heart sink into his stomach as the elevator dropped downward with a dizzying effect. He gripped the hand bar, and beside him Robin and Cyborg did the same. He wondered what they were thinking about.

Well, there was one thing for sure: he knew what _he_ was thinking about.

__

Raven.

That song. That damn song had been stuck in his head for two full days. It would not leave him alone. His internal radio had trashed the countless other songs it usually played to make room for the haunting tune.

__

Bid my blood to run

Before I come undone

Save me from the nothing

I've become…

Raven had liked that song—at least, from what Beast Boy could gather. One could never really tell if Raven liked something or not. The way she turned away from the things she should have liked—should have loved—was often unsettling.

Beast Boy closed his eyes wearily and trembled, letting the sound of a very different song fill his ears and return him to that gray Tuesday morning.

***

__

"Road man, slow it down,

You will get there safe and sound

I said no, no, no,

The show must go on."

Beast Boy did a little dance around the kitchen, expertly twirling the spatula in his hand as he sang.

""

He and Raven were the only ones up this early. It was this time that he valued the most out of any other half hour in the day. 7:00-7:30 AM. Before Robin's alarm clock went off, before Cyborg trudged into the main room, before Star was awakened by the sun and bouncing around the kitchen as enthusiastically as ever. All of the Titans were early starters, but Beast Boy and Raven were by far the earliest.

He didn't know why he woke up so early. It was just some natural instinct in his brain that told him to get his lazy butt up—at 6:45 in the morning. And God only knew what made Raven get up and leave her room at 7:00…but she did it every morning, without hesitation.

""

Beast Boy's dark eyes shifted stealthily amidst the commotion of his own rambunctious movement to look at her. She was poised, as always, on the sofa, her face concealed by a single leather-bound volume. Raven's two slender legs were crossed in a position of comfortable serenity as her eyes traveled quietly over whatever intriguing words her book had to offer. Beast Boy continued to watch her out of the corner of his eye. It seemed to him that every inch of her had been carved out of perfectly smooth ivory stone, graceful in movement and flawless in nature.

The boy swung back over to the soy-based pancakes and flipped them one by one, still whistling and swaying with the tune of his favorite song. It was like this nearly every morning at Titans Tower—BB would come in first, yawning widely, to prepare the tofu-laden ritual that was breakfast (despite Cyborg's laments, of course) while switching on the radio. Raven would enter fifteen minutes later with her eyes still half-closed and a few ancient-looking tomes tucked under her arm. Beast Boy would offer her what he referred to as the "Ultimate Famous Infectious Contagious Beast Boy Grin 2000"—his latest mass-produced invention—accompanied by a wholehearted "Morning, Raven" and occasionally an attempt at small conversation.

Raven reacted differently to his morning greeting each time, depending on what mood she was in. Occasionally she would roll her eyes in annoyance or reply with a stony stare that eventually made him turn away. Or, if she was in a good mood, she would offer him a tiny smile—and then Beast Boy's insides would seem to churn with the thrill of victory as tiny people somewhere in his head applauded him on. But no matter what her reaction, he—well, he loved her. She was his friend.

The yawning Raven would proceed to her favored sofa, sink into it, and become dissolved in her book without another word to Beast Boy. And he would—at least for a while—let her be, and move restlessly around the kitchen to the beat of his music (which, for some reason, Raven did not mind). That was where they were that morning as rain spattered against the large, clouded windows. Beast Boy's savored half-hour was almost up—the guys would be awake any minute now.

Beast Boy sneaked another interested glance at the dark girl on the couch. Usually at this time of day the sun was just starting to come up, and the sky would be layered with a tapestry of pinks and purples and yellows. When the bulging orb of the sun first appeared over the horizon, Raven would sometimes look up from her tome and gaze at the sunrise. This particular day, however, the sky remained dark and cloud-swept, and the sun was coming up quietly beneath them, slowly turning the world a light gray-blue shade. Raven did not stop reading.

"Road man, slow it down,

You will get there safe and sound

I said no, no, no,

The show must go on."

BB sang the last verse rather loudly, hoping to win her attention before the others woke up. However, the song abruptly changed on him as the lyrical, bombastic rantings of Smash Mouth gave way to the slow, creepy fingering of a piano's high chords. Beast Boy shut up.

"How can you see into my eyes

Like open doors?

Leading you down into my core

Where I've become so numb…"

Beast Boy flipped a pancake absentmindedly. He'd heard this song before. It was okay.

Again he watched Raven from the corner of his eye. Slowly she looked up and directed her gaze to the wall. Closed her book softly in her lap. And stared blankly ahead. 

Beast Boy knew she was listening.

He was deliberately quieter after this realization, and tiptoed around the kitchen silently, eyeing her with intrigue. It was unusual of her to put her book aside so abruptly, and Beast Boy was itching to see what she would do next…

"Hey B, we got any real milk in here?"

Beast Boy jumped in surprise, nearly sending a pancake flying through the air. Luckily he composed himself and flipped it back onto the griddle before he spun around to see Cyborg—with his head in the refrigerator.

Beast Boy exhaled. "Geez man, you scared me!"

Cyborg ignored his friend's comment and continued to rummage through the fridge unceremoniously. "Okay, there is NO food in here. Everything's been taken over by YOU, Mr. Tofu, sir."

"Nah, actually it was the Protozoids from Planet Ufot." BB grinned widely.

Cyborg withdrew his head from the frozen abyss and eyed Beast Boy, obviously unamused. His human eye flecked back and forth between his green friend and the transistor radio on the counter, which was now making its presence known with impacting guitars, powerful percussion, and still that fabulously sweet voice.

"Now that I know what I'm without

You can't just leave me.

Breathe into me and make me real.

Bring me to life…"

Finally the cybernetic man approached the source of the dark music. "Man, turn this crap off."

"Dude! I like this song!" Beast Boy left his position in front of the frying pancakes to jump in front of the radio in defense, spatula still in hand. Cyborg raised a quizzical brow.

"Since when?"

The smaller boy heaved a sigh of contempt and nodded in Raven's direction. Cyborg followed his eyes to gaze on the dark girl, who was still staring at the wall as if it were a TV. Her face was empty of all emotion, all expression; and her once-interesting book lie abandoned on the cushion beside her.

"OH," the metal man mouthed, then whispered, "Is she okay?"

"I…guess," said Beast Boy, head cocked in utter confusion. The two boys stood there, staring at Raven, but she took no notice. The girl seemed to be caught up in some kind of trance, and could not feel the burning of their eyes. All she could feel was…the music. Her eyes had drifted out of focus, and Beast Boy made a note of this, his subconscious acknowledging the beauty of her icy blue orbs. He had always thought that if the ocean ever froze over, it would look something like Raven's eyes.

It was only when Cyborg gave him a sharp jab in the side that Beast Boy came out of his own hypnosis and turned to look at the half-robot. Cyborg smirked at his friend's obvious fascination and started towards Raven.

"Yo Rae-Vae," he boomed loudly, "whatcha looking at?"

"Rae-Vae" jumped in surprise, so visibly that it was almost comical, and returned to the reality of Titans Tower, only to shoot a death-glare at Cy at the receiving of her new nickname. The music pounded rhythmically in the background.

"Yeah," said BB, playing his role. He leaned on the back of the sofa and stared at her in mock surprise. "You looked a little…zoned out. You're telling me that you're actually LISTENING to MY music?" He pointed to himself, grinning.

Raven turned her cold gaze to the green boy, a vein popping out of her head in annoyance, and shook her head with distaste. "You know nothing," she returned simply, quickly reclaiming her book. The guys didn't get another word in before she was hidden behind it, reading once more. Cyborg and Beast Boy exchanged confused glances.

In the backdrop, the gorgeously toned voice stretched a long, high, beautiful note of anguish as a last word to her listeners…and the music faded away.

***

Beast Boy's eyes flew open with the elevator doors. He let Cyborg and Robin exit first, then quietly trailed behind them, his eyes downcast. The boys entered the main lobby of Jump City General Hospital, smiling weakly at the receptionists who waved them off. They proceeded in silence to the large automatic doors that led to the parking lot.

Some time after the morning incident, Beast Boy had caught Raven listening to that song on the CD tester at FYE. And once, he even thought he heard her humming it. A strange thought, yes; but he had been walking through the hallway innocently when he heard it. Curiosity had driven him to press his ear to Raven's nearby door—and sure enough, the tune filtered in through the barrier and carried to his ears. It had to have been her. And Beast Boy had to admit: the hummed song had been, in its own way…beautiful.

The boys were immediately greeted by a sharp, cold gust of January wind as the automatic doors flew open. Despite the ambulance sirens and moving vehicles in the backdrop, there was a stillness about the air that implied the coming of snow.

So many things about Raven were beautiful, he thought. If only she wouldn't try so hard to cover them up.

***

It had been a long ride home.

Cy had stopped the T-Car over at the local Burger King for some chow (seeing as none of them had eaten anything in two days), and there had been a brief argument over the fact that there was no vegetarian salad on the menu. Of course, Robin had ended it abruptly, and Beast Boy had rebelliously gone hungry, leaving his stomach to rumble, unsatisfied.

They had returned from the restaurant to find that once again, Beast Boy had locked all the keys inside of the T-Car, giving the guys yet another opportunity to yell at him. Reluctantly they'd had to ask to use the phone book in Burger King and call a locksmith. By the time the professional had broken through all of Cyborg's high-tech security, it was past midnight.

As if _that_ weren't enough, on the ride back to the Tower they had run across a few gang members surrounding a frightened-looking young woman. Though it wasn't easy without the girls, the male Titans had managed to haul the criminals off to the authorities, which cost them another hour of their time.

But now they were home, each in their rooms, lost in their own individual realms of thought. Pondering beneath the warmth of his blankets, Beast Boy supposed that the others were asleep—but he knew he couldn't sleep a wink if he tried. Something about the absence of Starfire and Raven hung so heavily in the air, it was almost tangible. He didn't like it.

If Star were here, she might be humming herself to sleep as she often did. BB could always hear her; her room was adjacent to his, and the wall that separated them was paper-thin. He had no idea what she was singing about, because it was in some foreign language…most likely Tamaranean. Still, her songs often helped him to drift off too.

And then there was Raven. She was as silent as a shadow, and her walls were soundproof. But Beast Boy could always tell she was there. The presence of Raven wasn't something one could always see or hear, but something you could _feel_. He could tell she had entered a room without even seeing her come in; he could feel the rhythm of her footsteps before watching her step through the door; he could sense the aura of her presence before even discerning the ghostly flutter of her cape. There was something about her…that just told him she was near. Something settled over the air when Raven walked in. He couldn't place it, but—well, it was powerful.

Beast Boy tried desperately to put into words what it felt like to sense her. He inhaled deeply and concentrated his thoughts. It was like…almost like…walking into a winter landscape. Yeah, that was it. But not like Currier & Ives. It was like stepping out of your warm house and feeling the snow crunch beneath your feet. Like feeling a chill trickle through your body and numb you all over…like looking all around you and seeing nothing but white. Not a bad white, like at the hospital—a clean, sparkling, soft white. Being with Raven was like watching your breath evanesce in the cold air, and hearing nothing around you but utter, utter silence. Everything just stopped whirring and things made more sense. And the best part was the _cold_—the way it bit you, thrilled you, made you hurt—and led you to think that somehow, someday, you would be the spring that would melt all the snow.

__

That was Raven.

Satisfied with the mental picture, Beast Boy opened his eyes—and realized that it had been a year since he had gone so long without feeling that.

The boy sighed and looked at the ceiling dolefully. He missed her. Honestly. And so did everyone else. _They _had all cried for her. Starfire had wept openly, Robin had put his face in his hands and suffered silent shudders, and even big, macho Cy had let slide a tear, though he wiped it away quickly.

But Beast Boy had not cried. He just wasn't a crier. If there was a problem, he would either fix it or whine until someone else did. Heck, he could _count _the times he had cried.

He thought about Raven. She probably never cried either—she just couldn't afford to. It was only after the incident with the Puppet King, when Starfire explained to him what it had been like to _be_ Raven, that he understood why she was so…_moody_ all the time. She had some major issues. Beast Boy giggled aloud at his own thoughts before mentally whacking himself in the head.

__

You're horrible, thinking bad things about Raven. Especially when she's all comatose and crap. Dude, you're _the one who has issues._

Beast Boy concurred, and shut up.

In truth, he thought she was incredibly strong. Who else could restrain their emotions like that, and all for the good of others? No one but Raven. She was so brave. So calm, so constant. Man, if he was in her situation, he'd have lost his mind by now. But she hadn't. That was what made her so amazing.

BB emitted a soft sigh and turned over. He closed his eyes and pictured just what Raven's face looked like: solemn, framed by a smooth fall of orchid hair. Penciled features, gray lips that carried her deeply calm voice, and eyes that were often narrowed in concentration. Those eyes. Beast Boy sucked in his breath, searching his mind for an adjective that could possibly describe them—oh, heck with it. He sucked with words.

He let a smile play on the lips of his mental image. Raven's smile was a rarity, but when it surfaced, it was her crowning glory. The last time she had smiled, Beast Boy had made a point of it to stamp the image in his head. Now he took it out time and time again, whenever he felt especially down about something. So far, it had worked like a charm.

__

A charm? What are you saying? You act like you like her or something…

Beast Boy shivered as the image slowly faded away.

__

…What if she never wakes up?

Wake me up inside!

Wake me up inside!

"God!"

Beast Boy angrily flung the blankets away from him, climbed from the bunk, and started for his door. Sleep was futile, and he would sooner eat eighty-four thousand _real _hamburgers before he'd let that song consume his brain.

***

The main room was dark and quiet when Beast Boy tiptoed into it, gazing cautiously around at various objects and hoping he wouldn't wake anyone up. He wasn't exactly sure what he was planning to do; maybe he'd grab a soda and watch some late-night TV. Not that there was actually anything on right now…but he definitely couldn't bear another second of trying to sleep.

Moonlight poured in through the large glass windows and illuminated him against the shadows. Everything had taken on a strange new look; things that had seemed average and normal in the light had become looming, ominous shapes in the dark. Beast Boy moved quietly but swiftly; he had an eerie feeling that he was not alone in the room…and it was, to put it bluntly, freaking him out.

Upon reaching the small kitchen, Beast Boy swung open the fridge immediately, grateful for the light inside that flooded over the darkened room. He plundered a cold Sierra Mist from the frozen place and snapped it open with a pop, closing the fridge absentmindedly as he padded toward the big screen TV. Something was definitely not right; he could tell when he was sharing air with someone, and now was one of those times.

Finally Beast Boy identified the source of the odd sensation: across the room, sitting on the couch, was Cyborg, his head resting in his hands. Five empty Sierra Mist cans were strewn over the shadowy table in front of him.

__

Well, that explains it, Beast Boy thought, relieved that it was only his friend and not some kind of ghost or creepy voodoo villain. Slowly he approached the silent Cyborg, choosing his words carefully. "Yo Cy…you awake?"

Of course, he already knew the answer. Cyborg's head flew up from his hands in shock, and for a moment he just stared at Beast Boy, his mouth hanging open. Finally, he spoke.

"What are you doin' up?"

"Well…what are _you _doing up?"

"I asked you first."

Beast Boy sprawled himself absently over the couch adjacent to Cyborg's, and took a swig of his soda before answering. "Couldn't sleep."

"Me neither."

There was a brief silence as the boys continued to stare off into space, Beast Boy taking sips of his drink at intervals. Both their faces were adorned with patterns of light and shadow that danced when a car passed by on the bridge far below. Beast Boy, for some reason, didn't feel the need to talk, and he allowed himself to be lost in thought. 

"Sooo…why couldn't ya sleep?" Cyborg's voice was unusually quiet.

Snapping out of his trance, Beast Boy blinked suddenly and sighed. "Ah, I dunno…I'm just…just worried, I guess. About Raven…you know."

"Yeah." Cyborg looked down at the floor and closed his eyes. "Me too."

"Feel really bad for her. Wonder what she's dreaming about." Beast Boy gestured absently as if talking to a psychiatrist, his dark eyes still out of focus.

Cyborg raised an eyebrow. "Good question. Even _I_ didn't think of that one." He chuckled slightly.

"Mmm," Beast Boy murmured thoughtfully. There was another extended silence. Cyborg twiddled his thumbs as his friend continued to be in his own world, not uttering a single word.

"Ya know," Beast Boy said suddenly, setting his Sierra Mist down on the table, "it's like we're all a whole lot closer to it now."

Cyborg cocked his head slightly. "Closer to what?"

"Death."

Cyborg stared at BB concernedly and considered his words. "Whaddya mean?"

"Well…I dunno…it's just like…ever since she got hurt, I've been…sort of…hanging by a thread over the canyon of _doom_. Yeah, that's it! I mean…well, you know what I'm saying…right?"

Cyborg knew what he was saying, alright.

"Little man, I don't know if you've realized this, but we're _all_ hanging by a thread over the canyon of doom."

Beast Boy blinked. "Well…good to know I'm not the only one."

Silence claimed them once again. In darkness, the two men sat, staring out at the lights in the city and waiting for the imminent break of day.

The next chapter will be up A.S.A.P. Until then, PLEASE review…you have no idea how much it will help my story and my self-esteem. Thank you! ^_^

__


	2. Undone

Author's Note: I feel that I must warn you all before you read; this chapter is different from the first in just one way. While the first chapter was more thought-based and focused on exploring Beast Boy's mind and feelings, this one was written in a more feel-of-the-moment style. The heart rather than the head. I'm sure there will be times when what you're reading makes absolutely no sense…but no one ever said the heart made sense, or even possessed sense. Beware of major 'shippiness…not fluff, but some very interesting personal revelations. Also, because of the emotional madness (the chapter's called "Undone" for a reason), I recommend that those of you who are particularly sensitive grab a few tissues now…

-Alys

Dedication: For my reviewers, who have provided such encouragement and support. My first reviewer actually caused me to scream and hyperventilate into a pillow for twenty minutes…lol…you would not believe how excited and incredulous I was just knowing that someone had taken the time to read my fan fiction. I was absolutely thrilled to discover that even the great Sunshine10 thought something of it! This is such a new experience for me…and each of you have made it all the more blissfully rewarding. Now, to reply to some reviews:

Raven Grey Ghost: The song is "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence. ^.^

Toast: I am honored to be reviewed by you! I'm a big fan of your "Accounts From the Tower", and your compliments really flattered me. I agree with what you said about the entire show being OOC. _Por ejemplo,_ they drop a bunch of painfully obvious BB/R-inclined hints, then forget about them like they never existed and make episodes like "Car Trouble." Aagh! I could go on and on about that, but I'll save you the trouble…anyway, I also agree with what you said about Terra…damn that Terra…lol…but that's my mission: to keep the faith in BB and Raven alive. As long as there are still a few of us who still believe in it, there's reason to keep fighting! ^_^ About the we-writers-should-really-talk-and-help-each-other-out-more-on-this-section topic…if you would like to e-mail me, please feel free; I would love to make contact with you as a writer. I really look up to you and admire your written style, and it would be wonderful to have your advice and encouragement on things.

Rainbow Phoenix: I'm also happy to be reviewed by you…while I was waiting for reviews, I remember thinking, _I hope Rainbow Phoenix reviews me! _I have noticed that you review lots of fan fiction, and you are always avidly supporting Raven/BB. Thank you.

Scarred Phoenix: Oh, good! ^_^ I'm glad you were listening to the song as you read…actually, I was listening to the song as I wrote! It was a marvelous inspiration.

SperryDee: BB and Raven _are_ made for each other, and you're blessed for realizing that. Don't ever let your friends tell you otherwise! XD

Samantha-1434: I updated, so you can't kill me now! XP I am also happy that I inspired you. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside…

Le Chat: Thanks so much for telling me about the anonymous reviews thing. I didn't even realize!

ROBINROX!: Woo-hoo! The faith is _alive!_ ::runs around waving her lighter maniacally:: XP

Leviathan680: Thank you for the compliments, Levia. I'm so glad to have all my friends at TV Tome, especially you and ROBINROX!

Luna-Kitsune-Blu: Sorry if I caused confusion…actually, I was implying that it had been one year since the Titans had first formed, suggesting that it had been a year since Beast Boy and Raven first met. She hasn't been in a coma for an entire year! That would suck…but no, she's only been gone for three days so far.

Vega Obscura 666: Thank you! I look forward to reading your story; please let me know when it is up. ^^

To everyone else: Thank you for everything.

Now, on with Chapter 2!

**************************************************************************************

__

Playground school bell rings

Again…

Rain clouds come to play

Again…

Has no one told you she's not breathing?

Hello.

I'm your mind

Giving you

Someone to talk to

Hello…

If I smile and don't

Believe

Soon I know I'll wake

From this dream…

Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken!

Hello.

I'm the lie

Living for you

So you can hide.

Don't cry…

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping…

Hello.

I'm still here, all that's left of

Yesterday…

-"Hello", Evanescence

**************************************************************************************

A wisp of vibrant auburn hair fell into Starfire's face, and it dampened instantly, soaking up the moisture of her tears. She pushed it back behind her ear softly and continued to write, her pen whipping across the lines of the yellowing paper. She was not sure why she was writing this; Raven could in no way read it now, and if she awakened there would be no need for her to read it anyway. But Robin had said it was a good idea.

All around the girl the walls were a lifeless white, the ceiling and tiles mimicking the neutrality. A wastebasket sat beside her stiff chair, and it was filled to the brim with crumpled balls of yellow paper—failed attempts at expressing precisely how she felt. This time, though, her thoughts seemed to be coming clearer, and she had no intention of throwing this version of her letter away. In fact, she was going to leave it here for Raven…yes, for Raven's eyes only.

Starfire's jade-green eyes shifted downwards to look upon her friend. Raven was white-clad from head to toe: her wounds bandaged with white gauze, the sheets around her the same dire shade. A countless number of thin, plastic tubes concealed her face slightly. Her eyes, normally dark and deep, were closed in a horrific surrender, and her gray lips were sealed all too peacefully, all too lifelessly. A torrent of violet hair fell all around her pillows, vibrant against the white. For the first time in her life, Raven was completely helpless—utterly dependent.

Starfire was ashamed of the tearstains that continued to blot the words in some parts of her letter, but she did not allow this to discourage her. Tears were a good thing, Robin had said. They helped you feel better, eventually.

The alien girl's eyes fluttered, pining to give in to the one thing she desperately needed: sleep. Starfire was sure that she had not slept a second for three days, and the lack of rest was now taking a toll on her body. She wished to take sleep by the hand and let it lead her away, to gather it all to herself and gobble it up greedily. She wished these things, but they were selfish, and she had promised herself that she would not let her eyes close a moment until someone else was here to watch over her friend.

Starfire concluded her written thoughts finally, signing the letter with a youthful flourish and slowly tearing the paper from its pad. Settling back into her chair, she prepared, for the millionth time, to read over her soul:

__

Dearest Raven,

It is I, Starfire, your friend. I do not wish to make this a long letter, but merely to express to you all of the things I am thinking while you are away from us.

Oh, Raven, it is not the same without you! I do not recall ever being so disheartened. There is a gaping hole in me…I do not even feel like myself any longer. I feel more as if I am someone else, watching myself from across the room, rather than Starfire.

It saddens me to gaze upon you—you do not appear well. I hope desperately that you shall wake up and return to your friends who love you, but I am fearful that you never will…

The Teen Titans are not the same without you to hold us all together. Robin always said that you were the one who kept us from "losing it", and that is true. Raven, our very sanity seems to have disappeared before our eyes.

Cyborg does not sleep. He reads magazeens (I hope that I spelled that correctly) in the room of waiting, and he does not turn his eyes upward. I do not think he is truly reading. Robin appears worried. His eyebrows are creased often, and I cannot cheer him. Even Beast Boy has ceased the telling of his jokes, and he does not speak. Raven, I believe that he lo admires you more than he chooses to think.

All of us are in a state of deep missing. There is no consolation for us anyplace. We are saddened, and wish only for you to return to us. Especially I, Starfire—I am missing you greatly. You are my friend, and one of my best. I recall all of the times in which we went to the mall of shopping to accomplish the "hanging out", and even our brief bouts of "girl talk" (which I presume you did not enjoy, but you contributed to anyway. Oh, Raven, you are so very generous!) I wish for us to be able to do these things again. They were much fun.

You cannot leave us, Raven. We all depend upon you. You are the missing piece that makes us complete, and we are not the Teen Titans without you. Please, Raven—awaken soon…

Love, your friend

Starfire

The girl brushed away a fresh tear and folded her letter carefully. It rested limply in her palms, and she stared down at it with all the immeasurable force of sadness…slowly, the red-haired Tamaranean began to finger the creases, searching for some revelation that she felt she had lost, and could not reclaim.

"Star?"

Startled, Starfire whirled around in her chair with a short gasp, then exhaled in relief at the sight of Robin, who looked apologetic. "Whoa—I'm sorry—didn't mean to scare you…" he began.

"It is all right. I was merely surprised," Starfire replied, forcing a smile. It came more easily than she had expected, and the girl allowed her grin to remain on her face one hopeful moment longer. She only remembered that she was crying when a new tear popped up and streamed down her cheek. Embarrassed, she chuckled nervously and bowed her head to wipe it away.

Robin cringed. "I, uh, know you weren't expecting me, but…" he rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably, "apparently, Cyborg didn't get much sleep last night. Beast Boy and I couldn't wake him up this morning, so we came instead." Starfire did not look up. Choosing his words carefully, Robin hesitantly whispered.

"Are you okay?"

Starfire nodded violently. "Yes, I am—I am—" she inhaled sharply, "okay. I apologize for my overreaction…"

Suddenly, Robin looked slightly more confident. He extended a reassuring hand.

"It's not an overreaction, Star. It's natural for you to be upset. When something bad happens, people are supposed to cry. There's nothing wrong with tears…remember?"

Starfire smiled weakly. "Yes, Robin. I remember." There was silence for a moment before she added softly, "Where is Beast Boy?"

Robin nodded in the direction of the waiting room. "Out there," he replied, looking slightly annoyed with the fact.

"But why? Does he not wish to join us and visit—"

Once again, Robin rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I don't know why. He hasn't come in to see her yet. I keep telling him he should, but you know Beast Boy…he won't listen unless you prod him with a hot rod or something." Robin pulled up a chair beside Starfire's and sat down.

"Well, perhaps we _should _prod him with a hot rod…" Starfire suggested, grinning, and Robin laughed. He turned to look at her. Her face was reddened and stained, but optimistic, and her emerald eyes still shone with the moisture of tears. Though he had scarcely even admitted it to himself, Robin loved Starfire's eyes. There was a certain light in them, a heat that he wanted to touch.

It was only then that he noticed she was holding something. Starfire absently clutched a folded sheet of yellow paper between her thumb and forefinger. Robin raised a quizzical brow. "What's that?"

Automatically, Starfire looked down at the paper and blushed a faint shade of pink. "Well…Robin, you said that we should all have something to give to Raven when she awakens…therefore…I have written her a letter," she finished quickly. She winced slightly, awaiting the answer of her friend. She was sure he was going to ask to read it, and the simple truth was that she did not want him to…

To her surprise, Robin smiled. "That's good, Star," he said softly, then hesitated. "Do you want an envelope to put it in? I think they've got some at the front desk…"

Starfire cocked her head. "An…en-ve-lope?"

"You know, those folded pieces of paper that the mail comes in."

"Oh…_oh_," the girl returned, happy for the clarification. She brightened. "I would be delighted to have an en-ve-lope."

Robin grinned and stood from his chair, placing a hand on her slim shoulder. "Okay. I'll be right back," he declared, and sprinted out the door of Patient Room 124, eager to fulfill her request.

"Many thanks, Robin!" Starfire waved him off, wearing a smile in spite of herself. That was the mere magic of Robin. His very presence was enough to turn the tides of her mood from discouraged…to hopeful…to simply happy.

***

__

Wake me up inside!

Wake me up inside!

Call my name and save me

From the dark.

Bid my blood to run

Before I come undone,

Save me from the nothing

I've become…

Beast Boy muttered under his breath in annoyance, pacing the length of the hospital waiting room. This was really beginning to get old.

That song had haunted him for three days now, preventing sleep, making any kind of contentment impossible. He had tried his best not to let the prevailing tune or the dark lyrics get to him. But _no_. It had to keep pounding in his head at the most inconvenient times, popping up out of nowhere, creeping menacingly from the shadows and threatening to be the end of all sanity.

Desperate to put an end to this self-torture, Beast Boy padded over to the front desk, where Robin had been just a moment earlier asking for an envelope. Of course, the Boy Wonder had already disappeared back into Room 124…he and Starfire must be having one of their 'moments', Beast Boy predicted with a smirk.

Noticing the anxious-looking Beast Boy leaning over the counter, a petite blonde nurse approached him. "May I help you?"

"Uh…yeah," he replied, gazing around at various items behind the nurse in anticipation. "Do you by any chance have some paper? And a pen?"

The nurse smiled at the boy's simple request and headed toward the back of the area, where her coworkers were chatting amiably, breaking out into hysterical laughter at intervals. She fetched a small pad of paper and a fountain pen, strode back up to the front desk, and placed the items into Beast Boy's awaiting hands. "Here you are."

"Thanks," he said gratefully, making sure to flash her the most charming smile he could muster before walking away and plopping down into a cushioned chair.

He'd heard somewhere once that if you wrote the lyrics to a song down and trashed them, the song wouldn't be stuck in your head anymore. Okay, so it was a naïve idea, but surely worth a shot…after all, he'd tried everything else, and he wasn't at the point of giving up yet.

__

How can you see into my eyes

Like open doors?

Leading you down into my core

Where I've become so numb…

Beast Boy's hand eagerly flew across the small pad of paper. It was providing a little relief just to write the song down; maybe this wasn't such a stupid idea after all.

A dangerous glint of madness gleamed in his dark eyes as he let the song pour out of his brain all in a rush. It could bother him no more. Once it was gone, it would stay gone, and maybe he would be able to sleep tonight…his pace quickened at the thought. Beast Boy's handwriting was growing so carelessly horrible that it was now little more than chicken scratch…not that he cared. The sooner it was gone, the better.

"Bring…me…to…life," he spoke aloud, eyes glazed with a psychotic mist. The nurses abruptly stopped talking and turned to look at the boy in utter confusion, exchanging incredulous glances with one another.

A heavyset woman with curly hair raised an eyebrow and cocked her head slightly. She leaned in closer to her circle of friends. "D'you think he's alright?" she whispered, her eyes still averted in the direction of the illustrious superhero, who was scribbling madly. 

Her coworkers barely had time to shrug before a victorious Beast Boy jumped up from his seat, ripping his sheet of used paper off of the pad with a vociferous _thwip _that echoed through the waiting room like a pebble in the Grand Canyon. The pad fell to the floor with a thump, and quite rabidly the boy began to tear the paper to shreds, causing ripping sounds to pierce the still air like needles into skin.

__

This felt vaguely familiar…

***

__

/Hey. I'm sorry./

Beast Boy's chewed-down pencil scratched the last letter quickly before retracting from the paper and being placed, once again, into his awaiting mouth. He bit down hard in concentration, tasting wood as he contemplated what else to write. Raven wasn't one who normally melted beneath his charm…this wasn't going to be an easy task. What else could he write that would get through to her? Nothing. Beast Boy sighed before finally deciding that the feeble apology was good enough, and thrusting it under the crack of Raven's foreboding door.

The boy folded his arms across his chest and slid even further down the wall. It would be better to do it like this, he supposed, than to knock and suffer Raven's wrath, which he had had the misfortune of awakening in the past. He wasn't about to do that again. Best to just get this over with quickly and quietly…she'd forgive him as long as he could keep his cool.

Slowly the pencil began to degrade in his mouth, but Beast Boy took no notice. He gnawed at it vigorously, not willing to admit how nervous he was, but not stupid enough to tell himself that there was nothing to be afraid of.

Well, maybe she was just reading. Or meditating. If that was the case, she would have no idea about the little slip of paper that had been so reluctantly delivered at her feet. She would go on in her merry little world, and he could just—

The tiny scrap of paper shot back out from under the door and slid with a vociferous whoosh right toward Beast Boy's cupped palm. It stopped there at his fingertips, suddenly motionless in the silent hallway. Tentatively, he reached for it.

/Go away./

Beast Boy's eyebrows furrowed as he read the small, meticulously spaced ink words. Now that was just rude. Determined to get through to the dark girl, he removed the dangling pencil from his mouth and began to scribble a reply.

/Come on, don't be like that. Open the door. Please?/

He shoved the note under her door once again and exhaled a huff of annoyance. He honestly couldn't believe he was doing this again. This was exactly how it always happened. He would piss her off and she'd flip out over nothing, then Robin or Starfire or Cyborg would send him off to apologize. As of yet, he had never succeeded. The only reason Raven ever forgave him was because, eventually, her mind would lose track of the argument, and she'd start treating him as she always did…just another member of the team. Just another annoying comrade for her to have to put up with.

/No./

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. It wasn't his fault she had left that poetry notebook of hers lying around. Anyone in their right mind would have taken a peek. 

He just didn't understand how she had known it was him. Raven had the aggravating tendency to know EVERYTHING.

/Why not?/

/I don't want to talk to you. You know why. Don't be an idiot./

Beast Boy emitted a low growl. An idiot: that's what Raven always called him.

/I'm not an idiot!/

/Then don't act like one./

The boy repressed his frustration, and replied with the most dignified response he could muster.

/I'm not. I'm trying to be nice./

/Whatever./

/Can you open the door now?/

/No./

Beast Boy banged the back of his head against the wall exasperatedly in a vain attempt to get his point across. He waited a brief moment for a response, but when none came, he started it up again. She couldn't ignore him this way; a few good pounds on her wall would definitely get her to emerge from her dark lair.

This frame of mind was abruptly shattered as a single pound resonated back to him through the wall. Slightly apprehensive, Beast Boy hung his head at Raven's ominous response. Though he did want her to come out, he wasn't about to grate on her nerves any more than was absolutely necessary…at least, not at the moment.

Beast Boy heaved a sigh of defeat, deciding to take this little squabble in a different direction.

/If it makes ya feel any better, I thought they were really good./

A wide grin sprawled over his face as he pushed his most recent response beneath the door. He could almost see her mouth falling open in surprise. That was what a compliment did to Raven: made her stare at you in disbelief, like you had suddenly contracted leprosy. Then she would get defensive, unable to handle the fact that someone had said something nice about her.

Not that it was a lie…

/Stop it./

Beast Boy covered his mouth as a giggle threatened to surface. Precisely the answer he'd been expecting.

/Why? I'm serious. You should publish it or something./

/Your flattery doesn't work on me. I thought you had learned this by now./

/Nope./

/Leave me alone./

/Uh-uh, not till you open up./

/Not happening./

/Guess we'll just have to do this forever, then./

/Fine, go ahead. Sit there. See if I care./

/Fine, I will./

/Fine./

Beast Boy fingered the creases of the segment of paper absently. What was there to say now? He had already told her that he wasn't leaving, so he couldn't just go away…he wasn't about to give up on her that easily. Surely if he said the right thing, she would realize how sorry he really was, and open that stupid door. Did she really have to be so…cold? The least she could do was talk to him face-to-face.

A light bulb flickered on suddenly in his vacant head, and Beast Boy received a flash of inspiration. There was one thing he had been meaning to ask her, a question that had been weighing on his mind ever since he'd found that notebook of hers. Now was the perfect time. Cautiously, the boy began to write.

/Hey, Raven…that poem…that you wrote…the one called "A Savior"…I've been meaning to ask you…what was it about?/

Satisfied with his wording, Beast Boy shoved his question under the impending door and waited. Raven could respond to this in one of two ways. One, she told him what the poem was about, and the conversation went on just peachily from there. Two, she ordered him, for the millionth time, to go away. Either way, as long as they were on different sides of the door, no physical pain would be involved. 

In his moment of curiosity, the mutilated pencil in his hand was plopped back into his mouth, and he chewed nervously. He hoped she would tell him about that poem. That was the one that had stuck with him, the one he couldn't shake from his mind, despite all the times he'd tried. He was sure he could remember how it went, if he concentrated…

"Yours the way and yours the light,

Mine the darkness of the night.

Yours the frenzied charm of youth,

Mine the deadly, haunting truth."

That was it—the first verses, anyway. Beast Boy had never been one too strong with memory, but this was different. It was something worth remembering. It was something he needed to remember, because he knew that he would never see it again.

Quite ominously, the slip of paper shot back out at him, sliding across the floor with so much force that it hit the opposite wall. Beast Boy's eyes widened in apprehension. Okay, that couldn't be a good sign. Slowly, he crawled towards the foreboding scrap of paper and took it in his hands…

/Let me get this straight. First, you have the nerve to read my personal poetry. Key word: personal. Meaning, not for anyone else to read. And now you WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT??? Are you seriously asking me that? It's none of your business! Don't you have any concern for anyone besides yourself?! Do you think you could stop being selfish for one single second?! I can't believe you! You have invaded my privacy and just…you know what? Never mind. Just forget it. You are not worth the time or the emotion. Go away, before I make you./

For a moment, the boy merely sat there against the wall, gaping at the wrinkled slip of paper in astonishment. But it didn't take long for this immediate effect to wear away and be replaced by a much stronger, unsuppressed one. Beast Boy felt the anger bubble inside of him like a pot of boiling water—one that was on the verge of exploding.

Thwip.

He jumped up from the floor and tore the paper right down the middle, the sharp sound slicing through his ears and through the stillness in the air. "Fine! I don't even know why I'm doing this! You freak out about every single little thing, then blame it on me! It's not my fault that you left your stupid notebook lying around…yeah, you call me selfish, but you're the one who never thinks of anyone else! You won't even open that stupid door! You don't open up to ANYONE, you're always just hiding in the shadows, being all dark and depressing and weird…you don't even care about what anyone else thinks, do you? What is your deal?!"

Silence. Who was he kidding? She wasn't going to answer him.

Thwip.

Beast Boy balled the mangled remains of their conversation into a green fist, then opened his hand and let it fall to the floor. Whatever. If she was going to be like that, he wasn't going to bother wasting his time. Swiftly, he turned on a heel and stormed down the hallway.

In all honesty, Raven angered him. She was so incredibly rude and unfeeling and dangerously dark. It was like nothing could get through to her, nothing could break her, nothing could make her open that damn door. There was ALWAYS a door between them. There was a door between Raven and everyone. She just couldn't let her guard down, she just couldn't open up to anyone. Why did she have to be like that? She was so maddeningly calm, it made Beast Boy want to wring her neck. Sometimes he swore he would have, had he gotten the chance.

He turned a corner in the hallway and proceeded towards his destination. No matter what he did, Raven would never acknowledge him. He could be screaming at the top of his lungs and she wouldn't even look up from her book. He didn't exist to her! Nothing he did mattered, unless it was something that she couldn't forgive…something like reading her "personal poetry."

Beast Boy slowed his pace and focused in on his thoughts. "Was that why I did it?" chimed a voice somewhere inside his head. Well, maybe. So what? It seemed like the only attention he would ever get from Raven was negative, but it was better than none at all. Beast Boy couldn't tolerate being ignored. It made him feel horrible, like someone had shoved him alone into an empty white room and left him there to die.

She was the only one who continued to stand firm against him. All of the other Titans had eventually melted beneath Beast Boy's crazy antics and silly charm. Robin and Cyborg loved him as a friend. Starfire was completely elated with him. Even random people he met in the city couldn't help but like him, the green guy who, though slightly egotistical, was a real trip. It was only Raven who continued to resist him. It was almost as if he was raging in a silent battle with her, trying to bring her down, to find some weak spot and dissolve her right there. But she just wouldn't give in.

This had two very different effects on Beast Boy. One, he felt devastated. Insecure. He started doubting himself, wondering if he really was as great as he made himself out to be. Raven had a way of chopping his ego right in half the moment she walked into the room, and he didn't like it. Some secret part of him knew that she was winning their battle.

Two, he felt…impressed. Enamored. Overtaken, in a good way, if that was possible. No one before had managed to resist him in the way that Raven did, and he admired this. She was strong; a challenge that he couldn't turn down. Every day he continued to chase after her in his vast world of wishful thinking; somehow he kept on fighting to win her over. She was a toughie, but not one that he couldn't melt in the end.

How had that poem gone? Beast Boy struggled to remember the next verse…stupid memory…it was something like…

"Yours the chaos and the thrill, 

Mine the silence louder still.

Yours the warm, assuring touch,

Mine the cold that longs for much

More than this suppressed emotion,

Worthless life, unsaid devotion—

Will you ever realize me,

Release these chains and set me free?"

Beast Boy's head began to spin at the rush of words that had suddenly hit him. The haunting lines of poetry rang a familiar bell. Did she really think she was worthless? Now, that was just a scary thought. Raven was a great number of negative things, but 'worthless' was not one of them.

Beast Boy strolled around a corner, his anger continuing to purge him. He knew he needed somewhere to vent, but he couldn't think of anyone who would be willing to listen…Starfire, maybe? She tended to be good for things like that.

Unfortunately, BB strode into the main room to see not Starfire, but Cyborg, clamoring around the kitchen as he made what appeared to be lunch. None of the other Titans were in sight, and Beast Boy was desperate.

"Where's Star?!" he practically yelled at the metal man, fists clenched at his sides in frustration.

Cyborg whipped around to stare at his obviously angry friend. "Hey, take it easy, man…what's up?" he asked slowly, in the tone of voice that you use with a mental patient who has just broken out of the padded walls. Beast Boy waved his hands in the air once, then proceeded to the couch, which he threw himself onto unceremoniously.

"I asked you, where's Starfire? I need to talk to her!" he shouted, annoyed, before crossing his arms over his chest defiantly and glaring at the floor.

"I think she and Robin went out somewhere," Cyborg replied good-naturedly, before adding mischievously, "if you know what I mean." He chuckled slightly and plucked a jar of mayonnaise from the refrigerator.

"Figures," Beast Boy huffed quietly. "You always win."

"Precisely, little man, meaning YOU owe me twenty bucks." Cyborg smirked as he opened the lid of the mayonnaise and retrieved a butter knife from one of the many drawers. "So, what's up with you?"

"Oh, nothing, only Raven is completely freaking out over nothing again and saying everything's my fault and keeping her door locked 24-7 like she's some kind of recluse and being all dark and gloomy and I-am-above-you-so-just-leave-me-alone-you-little-green-idiot."

Cyborg raised an eyebrow. "Um…okay. Sorry I asked."

"Yeah, well…you shouldn't have."

"I can SEE that."

Beast Boy sprawled out over the sofa, grateful to have the space completely to himself while still talking to someone considerably farther away. "You know, she always does this to me. No matter what I do, it's not good enough for her." 

Cyborg gave a sigh. "Well, you do know that it was wrong of you to go snooping around in her poetry…right? Think about it. She kinda has an excuse for being mad."

Beast Boy sat upright, suddenly directing his anger towards his half-metal friend. "No, no, no, you don't understand! Okay, I shouldn't have done that, but the least she could do is let me apologize! I can't even tell her I'm sorry without her reliving the entire problem! I mean, she seriously has some issues. Doesn't she know how to forgive people?! Forgiveness! It's a good thing! But NO, Raven is just too perfect for forgiveness, since she's ALWAYS RIGHT and all. God…I hate her!"

Satisfied, Beast Boy resumed his previous position and stared at the ceiling, waiting for his friend's response. At first, silence passed between the two, and he could tell that Cyborg was thinking about what to say. The clatter of jars and silverware resonated through the quiet room before the metal man finally looked up. "Look, man, I can't believe I have to tell you this, but you don't hate her."

Beast Boy raised a quizzical eyebrow and twisted around to look at his friend. "How would YOU know? Are you me?"

"No. Thank God." Cyborg chuckled as his green friend's eyes narrowed at him menacingly. "Look, all I'm tryin' to say is…she gets on your nerves, yeah. But you don't hate her. She's your friend. Oh, this is wonderful…I'm starting to sound like Robin…" the cybernetic man trailed off and completed the finishing touches on his sandwich before carrying it over to the couch and relaxing into it.

Beast Boy twiddled his thumbs absently, his anger dying down. Cyborg was, of course, right. He definitely didn't hate Raven, no matter how much he told himself that. It was a downright lie. He loved Raven; she was, after all, his friend, and as Robin and Starfire often preached, "We will all be friends forever." Inwardly, he giggled. Those two…they were the sheer optimism of the team.

What was the last line of that poem? If only he could remember it, he could write it down somewhere and…he'd never forget it again. He needed the last verse. Beast Boy allowed his eyes to drift closed quietly as he focused on what he'd seen last night, the words that had been written in that notebook in her small, flourished handwriting.

"Your soul alone has the power to save

Mine from the dark, conquering grave."

Yes!

The green boy folded his hands behind his head and sighed, partly out of satisfaction, partly because of the fact that he was preparing to disclose his thoughts. "Okay, you win," he told Cyborg, utterly defeated. "I don't hate Raven. She just…agh, she just really makes me mad sometimes."

Cyborg swallowed an enormous bite of his sandwich. "That's the spirit," he said loudly, a half-grin plastered on his awaiting face.

Beast Boy took this as a sign to continue. "I guess we just kinda…uh…clash. I mean, we're complete opposites. Nothing in common."

Abruptly, the metal man rose with his half-eaten sandwich and started back towards the kitchen. "Come on, that's not true," he called over his shoulder, waving away Beast Boy's comment as if it were a bothersome fly.

"Um…yeah, it is," retorted the boy defensively. "Name one thing we have in common."

Cyborg set the unfinished snack down on the counter and looked his friend straight in the eye. "Well, you both liked that song."

***

Finally he lifted his hand high above his head and let the butchered wad of paper fly through the air. Every last one of the nurses gasped as it landed smoothly in the wire wastebasket on the other side of the room.

__

Wake me up inside!

Wake me up inside!

Beast Boy bit his lip and quivered. The nurses' incredulous eyes followed him as he made a mad dash for the door.

***

A few cars hissed past on the road before him, but the chill in the air was all-stopping, as if it could freeze time at any moment. Beast Boy watched an ambulance zip into the emergency loop hurriedly, its siren blazing through the still, damp air. It came to an abrupt halt and two paramedics jumped out of either door, rushing to open the back, where they smoothly wheeled out a rolling white cot that held within its grasp a person…a young girl, it looked like, whose face was concealed by streaks of blood. The girl lay unconscious, her hand hanging over the side of the cot lifelessly, as if reaching for something that she couldn't quite touch.

After the rolling bed emerged a minor flood of people: more paramedics, a young man, and a woman, who was clutching her face in her hands and murmuring something that Beast Boy couldn't completely discern. The man had an arm around the woman, and he was whispering something in her ear: words of comfort, BB presumed, as he looked at the couple from a distance. He wondered vaguely if the girl was their daughter.

His thoughts were interrupted abruptly by a sharp, overwhelming cry of anguish. "No!" It took him a moment to realize that it was the woman who was screaming, her arms reaching out for the unmoving figure on the white cot. She struggled in the man's arms, shouting and crying. "No! Don't take her away! Please, it's not time yet, no! Get off of me, get off, let her GO!" The woman's screams rang out through the silent air, and they became all that Beast Boy could hear. He pressed himself fearfully against the hospital wall, wrapping his arms about himself and staring at the distant gathering of people. A few paramedics were restraining the woman now; they held her back as the girl was wheeled towards the door of the emergency room and maneuvered inside. Her mother began sobbing helplessly behind her.

"Bastards! You can't do this to my baby! She's not gone yet! For Christ's sake, help her!" Where were they taking the girl? Was she already dead?

The woman writhed within the man's arms, struggling to break free. Now Beast Boy could see the tears that streamed down his face, too. He began to whisper to her again. The woman's lip quivered and she began to sob, turning towards her husband and burying her face in his shoulder. They stayed in that position for what seemed like an eternity, the position of complete hopelessness, of utter defeat. Beast Boy turned away and stared at the pavement beneath his feet.

__

I took her for granted. I argued with her way more than I should have. All those times I could've just told her that I appreciated her…I never took advantage of any of them. She could die, and I'll have to live forever knowing that she never knew…

Slowly, Beast Boy turned to face the forbidding hospital doors. His legs moved beneath him, and he started back inside, hoping to reclaim some kind of sanity.

***

The streetlights illuminated the darkened sky above a grand parade of dancing lights and moving vehicles. The heavens were clouded, and not a single star could be spotted in the black layer. A chill bit the faces of the multitudes moving through the street…one that threatened snow. Sure enough, as if he himself had made it happen, Beast Boy watched a tiny, perfect flurry fall from the vast sky and dust the sidewalk.

It had been four torturous days since the mad paper-mutilating incident, and though he wasn't about to forget the way it had caused that memory to sweep over him, Beast Boy allowed his mind to dwell on other things for the moment. He hugged himself even tighter and pushed his way through the streaming crowds, past a few homeless people warming their hands over a feeble fire. BB didn't let the cold get to him; he was on a mission, and nothing was going to stop him now…not even the omnipotent force of the weather. Normally his ideas weren't all _that_ great, but he was sure that this was the most brilliant plan ever.

The sounds of nearby car horns and laughing people filtered into his keen ears, and he smiled slightly. It had been a while since he'd felt happy, but now he was positive that the emotion growing inside him had to be joy. Getting out of the hospital had done him some good, and the rosy faces of other people were constantly there to remind him that he wasn't alone in the world…that, in itself, was comfort.

Even the thought of Raven didn't spark his sadness at this moment…after all, he was doing this for her, and she would be happy to see the surprise when she woke up. He could just see the look on her face now. She would remove the CD from the labeled plastic bag and turn it over and over in her palms. And her mouth would be wide open, like she couldn't believe he had done something so thoughtful for her. She might even smile at him…the thought made Beast Boy's heart skip a beat as he made his way through the crowd.

It felt like _her _right now. Beast Boy exhaled and saw his own breath vaporize before him, only to fade away as quickly as it had come. He remembered his winter landscape image from a few nights before and grinned contentedly. It was almost like she was here.

At the corner of Main and Fifth Avenue, Beast Boy stopped and abruptly veered to the right, careening steadily into the familiar music store with a smile. Inside, it was warm, and he let his arms drop to his sides as he gratefully basked in the heat. CDs were stacked chaotically all over the shelves, each screaming different colors and names, and the boy wandered in further to look for the one song that had seemed to possess his entire being for the past week.

Beast Boy reached the section labeled 'E' and ran a green finger up and down the rows. Eagles…Eiffel 65…Eminem…Enya…Evan and Jaron…_Evanescence_.

Grinning victoriously, Beast Boy pulled the chosen CD out from the rest and studied it carefully. The cover portrayed a very dark-looking young woman with a face pale as death. Her silvery eyes were heavily lined, and from her head fell sprigs of hair black as night. Behind the woman was a medley of white and blue metal and what appeared to be droplets of water. In the upper-left hand corner of the CD, two ivory words fell, looped, and curled around themselves: _Evanescence: Fallen._

__

Definitely creepy enough, the boy thought to himself, turning the CD over. He shrugged and remembered who it was for. The colors alone reminded him. Blue, white, silver, black. It was all so…_Raven._

BB, you've struck gold this time. She's going to love this!

With a delirious, almost psychotic grin plastered on his face, Beast Boy fingered his pocket for some money and strode up to the checkout, CD in hand. He had the delicious feeling that he was finally doing something _right_.

Upon approaching the counter, the boy eagerly pushed his purchase towards the cashier: a pale teenaged girl who bore a striking resemblance to the one on the cover of the CD he was buying. She was adorned with random body piercings in her nose, lips, and eyebrows, and her expression gave Beast Boy the feeling he sometimes got around Raven—the one that made him want to shrink away and hide somewhere.

He bit his lip in apprehension as the girl snatched his purchase from the counter and ran it under a scanner, eyeing him suspiciously. "Good CD," she muttered darkly, her eyes shifting away from him. "Doesn't seem like your type."

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow at the insult and fought back the urge to tell her off. "Actually, it's for my friend," he began eagerly. "She's really dark and depressing, ya know, that kind of thing…and she's really hurt right now, so this is like a get-well present…hey, you might know her! She's a Teen Titan…Raven…of course you know her. Well, you know me then too, right? I—"

The anonymous girl bagged Beast Boy's purchase quickly and shoved it back across the counter. "I don't want your story, kid. Pay up."

***

Beast Boy's eyes pored over the water. Each tiny ripple in the black liquid rolled quietly over the last, overlapping onto the golden shore where he sat, idly looking out over the river. It was only a matter of time before the tide would rise, and he would have to leave this quiet place and return to the dreaded hospital, crawling with doctors cloaked all in white.

The girl at the music store had trodden over his good mood quite a bit, and he no longer felt that there were tons of people in the world who were willing to help him out. Around Beast Boy miniature flakes continued to fall silently, only now beginning to stick to the ground. It was an odd combination—the snow and the sand. He liked it.

The boy shivered in the cold, though not really minding it. Across the dark water was an even darker shape…a looming building in the shape of a T. He smiled slightly at the somewhat obvious "dwelling place", as Starfire would call it. But its once-lit windows were now a gloomy black, conveying the message that nobody was home…there was no longer anyone whom the troubled could call. 

All of the Titans were staying at the hospital tonight…after only a few nights of taking shifts, they had decided that it was best for all of them to be near their sleeping friend, despite the chunks of time it took out of their sleep. It was worth it for Raven.

Beast Boy sighed and tossed a nearby shell into the tranquil water. The impact of the object caused a tiny ripple to surface and roll outwards, growing larger until his eyes could discern it no longer.

__

That's how everything starts, isn't it? Small.

Like this feeling.

He dropped his head in his hands and gazed thoughtfully at the water. Lately, he had surprised himself at his own thoughts. He had to admit, he had never been much of a thinker; but now his musings swirled around in his brain like storms that wouldn't subside. Maybe it was something about the absence of Raven…normally, she thought enough for the both of them. Now that she was gone, his own thoughts bore in heavily on his inexperienced mind. It was driving him crazy, much like that song…

Curiously, Beast Boy averted his gaze to the plastic bag that lie abandoned on the sand beside him. Through it a flash of penetrating blue was visible…the precise color that Raven always wore. It was maddening that the song was right there next to him, but he couldn't listen to it. He was sure that if he could only listen to it, some of this weight would be lifted off of him, and he would be able to sleep.

But he couldn't sleep. She haunted everything. As long as she slept, he could not…why was it that only a Raven who was not there made him feel like she was _everywhere?_

Why was it that time seemed to be passing more slowly than ever, and without her, as slow and calm and quiet as she was herself, there was no way he could speed it up? That made absolutely no sense.

While he was at it, why was a song that wouldn't go away slowly driving him insane? Why did he feel like someone had stabbed him in the chest and left him there to bleed? Why was her absence weathering him away on the inside…why was there this deadly, empty whiteness that seemed to be consuming him slowly without her darkness to counter it?

And why was it that he felt so damn _alone?_

Beast Boy _knew _he wasn't. He still had all the other Titans, and he knew they loved him like family. But what he _felt _was something entirely different.

One thing was for sure: he had never felt like this when she was around. Beast Boy had seen her nearly every day for the past year. And even when he didn't see her, she was there…that presence of hers hovering over him like an angel, looking out for him. Making sure he didn't drive himself crazy. Keeping him sane with her own sanity…

The truth was, she canceled him out. She balanced him. She _was _his sanity. Every single thing Raven said…the sarcasm to retort against his jokes, the quiet replies of wisdom to his thoughtless logic…over the past year, she had become like a second part of him that he _needed_ as much as water or air. Before he knew her, he hadn't needed that. But now that she was a part of his life, he could not let her go.

__

Whoa…

Realizing the serious—well, _sappiness_ of his thoughts, Beast Boy felt his face grow hot with personal embarrassment. This wasn't like him. He wanted desperately to snap himself out of it, but he knew he couldn't. Not until she had woken up, and made him feel like himself again.

She was cynical, and moody, and depressing. She was always so out of touch, so shut out from the world. But she possessed a cold that he longed for, because he was too warm…she had a darkness all around her that he needed, because he himself shone so brightly. And not once had she forsaken him.

Somewhat relieved at being able to finally disclose his thoughts, Beast Boy looked around him. It was the exact place that they had all been standing on long ago. After the H.I.V.E. had "borrowed" their Tower, and the Titans (minus Robin) had washed up on the shore, Cyborg had been furious. BB remembered everything like it had happened yesterday: he'd cracked some joke in a feeble attempt to lighten things up, and the half-robot had exploded on him. Beast Boy gave a slight chuckle. He could hear him now:

__

"Man, now is not the time!"

"Hey, I was just trying to—"

And then a hand. A cool, quiet, reassuring hand that stopped him in mid-sentence. Beast Boy looked up at Raven in defeat. That was her magic working. Not another person on this earth could have made him accept defeat…

Casting another extended glance at the bag beside him, Beast Boy stood abruptly, swinging down to pick up his gift in one hand. A few white flakes drifted down and melted on his cheek as he turned his face towards the wind.

He was ready now.

***

__

The automatic doors swished closed behind him, and a rush of warm air greeted Beast Boy upon his reentrance into the hospital.

His feelings no longer confused him.

He was going to get through this madness. He knew he was. And sooner or later, Raven was going to wake up.

There was hope in the boy's dark eyes as he brushed past the front desk in the lobby and waited for the elevator. When its doors flew open invitingly, he stepped on inside, allowing himself a deep, rejuvenating breath before pressing the button labeled 'Floor 2.'

__

Everything is going to be fine.

As he told himself this, he somehow knew that he wasn't lying. _Raven is up there, and she's asleep; but she's going to get better. She is strong. She would sooner burst out laughing hysterically than give in to an untimely death._

The dirges of hope welled inside him, and suddenly he felt a deep, honest ability to survive. He was _not _dependent on Raven. Yes, he loved her, because she was his friend…only his friend. But he would give up this inner battle. Nothing he could do was going to wake her up, and it wasn't up to him to decide her fate. All he could do was hope for the best.

Beast Boy felt the elevator slow to a stop. He knew she was going to be all right. The world would not turn if Raven wasn't there, and she couldn't just _die_. That was an impossibility. She was omnipotent, and nothing brought her down so easily. He stepped out of the elevator, fearing her no longer.

Returning to his white surroundings, Beast Boy strode into the waiting room, his grin already prepared for his friends. He expected to see them sitting around doing random little things: reading magazines, playing Game Boys, listening to music. Instead, the sight of the other Titans brought a rather different image.

Cyborg stood with his arm against the wall, one hand covering his face in a gesture of a man stricken with grief. His cybernetic body was as still and unflinching as if he were asleep. Confused, Beast Boy's eyebrows furrowed, and he looked at each of the others in turn. Starfire had sunken into a chair, and was staring at the wall before her with wide, fearful eyes that did not blink. Her tanned fingers writhed nervously in her lap, and she looked almost like she was shaking. Beside her, Robin ran his hands through his charcoal hair and muttered something incomprehensible to himself. Suddenly, he lifted his eyes and saw Beast Boy.

The leader offered no words of explanation to his friend, but he continued to stare at him intently, as if his gaze would tell Beast Boy something that he himself could not. Sensing Robin's odd behavior, Starfire too looked up and allowed her emerald eyes to linger upon the green boy. Cyborg remained against the wall.

Looking from Robin to Starfire to Cyborg, Beast Boy gathered the courage to say something.

"What's goin' on?"

Cyborg turned around slowly to acknowledge his friend's presence, his arms dropping to his sides. Starfire's lip quivered, and she drummed her fingers together while gyrating to face Robin. He looked at his friends in desperation.

Beast Boy's voice cracked slightly. "What's goin' on?" he repeated softly, though some secret part of him already knew the answer.

Starfire continued to look at Robin pleadingly, and he grew uncomfortable underneath her expectant gaze. Each of the Titans stared at him in turn, begging their leader to admit what the rest of them were afraid to say. Finally, unwillingly, Robin spoke.

"Er…Beast Boy…there's something we have to tell you…" the Boy Wonder trailed off, apparently unable to continue in the unpleasant direction of the conversation. He looked to Cyborg helplessly.

"Well? What is it?" Beast Boy asked, annoyed with his friends at the secret they were keeping from him. "Spit it out!"

The cybernetic man shook his head softly at Robin and looked away, demonstrating that he could bear the news no better than his leader. There was a deadening silence in the room that seemed to strangle Beast Boy, and though he wanted desperately to break it, he couldn't seem to find the words.

At last Starfire stood from her chair and started toward Beast Boy, looking down directly into his eyes. She took him by the arm and led him to a seat. "Beast Boy, perhaps it would be best if you sat down first." There was a tremble to her voice that made the boy very afraid…something was definitely not right, and they weren't telling him what it was.

He lowered himself into the cushioned depths of the hospital chair and clutched its arm, a deadly hole seeming to grow in his stomach. Something was devouring him on the inside, and he bent over with the pain of it, his eyes wide and wandering. Starfire knelt down before him and took his green hand in hers.

"Beast Boy, the men of healing cannot allow Raven to stay here any longer."

Beast Boy sucked in his breath, waiting for the rest. However, the Tamaranean girl bent her head in defeat, pain etched over her features, and did not utter another word.

"And?" the green boy choked out. He reached up and began to rub his throat, as there was a considerably large lump in it that seemed to be growing by the second.

Starfire jerked her head up again to face Beast Boy, but she could not meet his eyes. The girl looked to the side slightly and began, so softly that it was barely a whisper, to tell the one thing that no one wanted to talk about; the one thing that the others were afraid to say.

"They say that if…if she has not awakened by the morning…they will have to…to…cut off the support of life. She has only tonight, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy's face became distorted in puzzlement. He looked away from the alien girl who continued to grasp his hand, and averted his gaze towards Robin, then Cyborg, in hopes that his other teammates could grant him an explanation. They could not. There was no other explanation. That was it. That was it?

Abruptly Robin spoke up, drawing strength from Starfire's grasp on the situation. "It's been a week," he began softly, nodding slowly with his eyes out of focus. "There isn't much more they can do for her."

Cyborg covered his face and dropped into a chair, shaking slightly.

Beast Boy did not see or hear any of them. Suddenly, his friends ceased to exist. He felt the paper bag slip from his grasp, but he did not try to pick it up again. What were they saying? Everything was becoming a whirling blur, an insane medley of white…everything seemed to turn to white…that was what was consuming him…

"What…what did ya say?" Beast Boy heard himself say. He watched himself from across the room. He heard himself whimper quietly. He was no longer in control of his body or anything he said; he watched helplessly as something possessed him and ate him away on the inside, taking over him, making the gaping hole in his stomach multiply in size and dominate everything that he once had in him. He tried to breathe, but no air came. He tried to cry, but all that emerged was a giggle.

Now that he thought about it, there really was something deliriously funny. He couldn't put his finger on it, but it was there…this was unbelievable…it was hilarious…

"That's…that's funny!" Beast Boy choked out, lost in convulsions of giggles. "No…it's really…hilarious…oh God…what did you say?" 

Cyborg lifted his head from his hands and stared at the green boy, who was now laughing maniacally. The cybernetic teen's mouth fell open, his eyes narrowed dangerously, and he stood in defense.

"Man, what in the hell are you _laughing _about?" Cyborg began, starting toward his friend angrily. His mechanical hands were abruptly balled into menacing fists, and Starfire's eyes widened in fear. Beast Boy continued to giggle uproariously, unable to control this feeling, unable to stop what had taken over him. This was all a dream…

"Have you completely lost it?! Shut up!" continued Cyborg threateningly, one fist pounding into his open hand. "I swear to God, if you don't stop laughing like that…"

Starfire hovered in front of her friend defensively. "Cyborg, please! Do not harm him! I do not think he remembers…how to cry." At her own suggestion, the girl bit her lip and began to shiver, tears threatening in her eyes. She turned back to her green teammate, once again reaching for his hand.

"Beast Boy…please, allow us to assist you…"

"NO!"

One hand swatted the air furiously, narrowly missing Starfire's face, and Beast Boy held it there as if it could keep his friend away. He did not want her here. He did not want any of them. They were all unreal. Nothing was real anymore. He was going to wake up any second…in Titans Tower, where he would head to the kitchen and start breakfast, and Raven would walk in fifteen minutes later, hair tousled, eyes weary, cape fluttering around her ankles…and she would look at him with the eyes that bore into the most untouchable soul, and smile…

Partly because of the roughness of the gesture, partly because of the sting of the single word, and partly because of the overwhelming grief that radiated off of her friends, Starfire began to cry. She sank to the carpet and cupped her face in her hands, sobbing quietly and helplessly onto the floor. Above her, Beast Boy's giggles subsided, and he stared at Starfire in puzzlement. Why was she crying? What had happened?

Robin stood suddenly, but could not move from the spot—his feet seemed to be rooted to the ground, and though he opened his mouth to speak, no words emerged. Cyborg looked around, unsure of what to do, before practically fleeing to the elevator and disappearing down the shaft.

Raven was not here, and the only color that ever existed was white.

***

__

"Tell me that didn't just happen."

Beast Boy rubbed his leg anxiously, his eyes all but brimming over with the pain he felt—physical, emotional. The inside of Titans Tower was large and looming and dark, and he felt ready to succumb to it. He wondered if he had broken a bone…

"It did happen. But we cannot change the truth, no matter how much we dislike it."

Beast Boy did not look up. Her eyes were all too truthful. They held all the pent-up suffering of years. They contained all the darkness of ages.

Suddenly her hand reached out for him, as it had done many times before. A soft white glow formed around Raven's palms, and she touched his skin quietly, allowing his body to absorb the healing power.

Quickly, her hands retreated from Beast Boy's thigh, and she knelt before him, not asking for anything in return for her deed.

Beast Boy grinned at her. "Who knew we had a doctor in the house? Thanks."

Raven looked away. She stood.

"No problem."

***

Beast Boy trembled.

He was alone again.

It was cold in here…

__

We cannot change the truth, no matter how much we dislike it.

Slowly, the boy lifted his eyes to look around the room. Against the wall opposite him, Starfire and Robin were fast asleep, Starfire's head resting lightly on Robin's steady shoulder. Neither one of the two were really aware of their contact—it was a natural, harmonious thing that seemed to have come along out of the blue. The best friends, possibly more, unconsciously wrapped up in the comfort one another. Beast Boy inwardly scoffed. They looked so peaceful, sleeping like that…

A twinge of—what was that?—jealousy?—spread over his mind like some sort of brain-sucking alien. How was it fair that while they were asleep, oblivious to everyone and everything but each other, he was here all alone? Why had he been the one cursed with this? Why hadn't some unseen hand loaded his pain onto Robin or Starfire instead? Beast Boy suddenly wanted someone's shoulder to lay his head on, someone's arms to wrap around him and hold him there. He didn't want to face this alone. It struck him abruptly how much he ached for the touch of another person to soothe him; the brushing of human skin against his.

Surely he didn't deserve this. He hadn't done anything to deserve this… 

An almost-physical pain shot up from somewhere in Beast Boy's chest. It was so bright in here—the whiteness leaping off the walls was threatening to dissolve him—he felt so blank, so numb—where was Cyborg?

__

He left. He got mad at you. Remember? When he said Raven was going to…and you laughed…he took the T-Car somewhere…he's gone…you don't have to deal with him anymore…

This is all such a nightmare…God, this is not happening…Raven…

Beast Boy began to feel sick. He was swimming in an ocean of white, and no one was there to throw him a lifeline. He squeezed his eyes shut, desperate for a color. Any color. Pining for the grains of color that sometimes filled his dreams, Beast Boy tried to sleep…just _sleep_…

__

This is a dream. Somebody pinch me…I just want to wake up…

Beast Boy's clenched fists were numb, and they shook with all the dire force of unreality. He bit his lip, longing to feel something, anything. Thankfully, after a few moments, he tasted the salt of his own blood.

Slowly, Beast Boy pressed an assuaging finger to his wound, and averted his unblinking gaze to the plastic bag in the chair beside him. Somehow, it seemed to…beckon.

__

Bid my blood to run

Before I come undone

Save me from the nothing

I've become…

Beast Boy let the song that wasn't there deluge his ears. He didn't care anymore. Let it kill him. Death brought peace anyway, right? Wasn't that what they always said? If he was dead, there would be nothing left to mourn…she wouldn't matter to him anymore…

__

Without a thought

Without a voice

Without a soul

Don't let me die here, there must be something more…

Beast Boy closed his burning eyes. _She does matter to you._

Bring…me…to…life!

What happened next was as simple and clear as a pin drop in a silent room. A certain faith began to grow from somewhere within him, and Beast Boy's hand flew to his chest as if he were in terrible pain. In truth, he felt the numbness slowly melting and giving way to something vulnerable beneath. Something that had been devastated, but remained hopeful…some force that had lain dormant for a long time, waiting for its moment to burst free. 

With the help of every last ounce of strength, determination, and courage he had left in his body, Beast Boy opened his eyes. 

If anyone had been awake to witness this small act, they would have known what force it was that glinted deep in the pools of his dark orbs. They would have been able to diagnose the ailment that prevented Beast Boy from surrendering. They would have known the one thing he would go to the end of time and beyond for…

He stooped over and harnessed the plastic bag in his left hand. With his right he pushed himself up from the chair, faltering slightly. 

Nothing mattered anymore. He had to see her.

Grasping a plastic bag and the scattered remains of his hope, the boy stood, and began in the direction his heart led him. Raven was still alive. As long as she was still breathing, her heart still beating strongly despite the frail condition of her body, he knew he had a prayer.

With a sharp inhalation of breath, Beast Boy swung open the door of Patient Room 124…

**************************************************************************************

To Be Continued…

Ah, cliffies. Don'cha love 'em?

While you are waiting, I have two things you can do.

Review. I promise, the more reviews I get, the faster the next chapter will come. 

2. Visit R&B 'Shippers United, the first R/BB coupling site on the web, which is now open to the public! It's amateur, yes, but all sites have to start somewhere. We've got evidence, fan fiction, even a photo gallery…you are all invited to join! ^^ __

__ __ __


	3. There In Front Of Me

****

Author's Note: First of all, I am deeply sorry for not including the link to the 'shipper's web site in the last chapter. I had it there, but I guess when I converted the document to HTML the link didn't go through…or something like that. Anyway, if you're interested, the link is now on my author's profile as my homepage, and the URL is at the bottom of this chappie.

Second…yes, I have seen the dreaded episode "Terra." I have to say, it was the most melodramatic, unrealistic, over-sappy, OOC, let's-screw-with-all-the-characters episode I have ever seen and probably ever will see. I felt rather like I was reading someone's five-minute fan fiction than watching the show. I now officially despise Amy Wolfram, the writer for the ep (who also happened to write "Car Trouble"). I don't know what happened to her. "Sisters" was a good episode, but she went downhill from there. Anyway, back on the subject…not only is the prospect of Terra horrifying from an R/BB 'shipper's perspective, the episode was just bad in general. They have turned Teen Titans into a soap opera. And the sad thing is, I might have liked Terra. I really might have. But the way her romance with BB is paced is just really…unconvincing. In a let's-throw-up-from-the-cotton-candy-fluff kind of way. But this only leads me to believe that she is not permanent, because true romances (Robin and Starfire, just as an example…do you see them falling into each other's arms crying and getting insane hearts in their eyes and fainting whenever they approach one another? I didn't think so) take time, and this is not one of them. This ep was also a downer for a whole lot of Raven/BB fans. We are completely stranded, guys. There aren't many of us left who have any faith. Some of my closest, most die-hard Raven/BB friends are giving in to despair now. But until I am proven undeniably wrong (which, let me assure you, isn't happening anytime soon), I refuse to give up. I've come this far, and I'm not going to be tied down. I just can't believe that so many people are succumbing to Terra already, thinking she's the coolest thing and surrendering all that they hoped for. It's screwed, because in the end, we all know that she is going to betray the Titans. But only Raven is going to be suspicious. Well, God bless Raven. She is the representation of all our sanity.

I get really down just seeing all those Terra/BB fics that have popped up all over the place. I wonder if those writers understand what's in store for Terra in Season 2…? Especially now that it's been confirmed that the show will be following the original Judas Contract storyline even more closely than we expected. Now, that's some uplifting news. Those poor Terra lovers…I suppose they'll have to find out the hard way. That Marv Wolfman is full of trickery! lol.

And finally, to talk about the story. I have a feeling you will be glad about this chapter. I figured that I'd loaded you with enough angst, so it was high time we felt another emotion. You'll see what I mean.

In the meantime, be on the lookout for a new story from me. "Tea With Terra," co-authored by Mint Dragon, my sister Aliute, and I, should prove to be very interesting. Heh heh…

-Alys

****

Dedication: I would like to dedicate this chapter to those I have met online in the past few months, who, despite the distance, have instantly become my close friends: Brave Raven, for being the face of optimism through my doubts. Mint Dragon, my newest friend and a great writer. Toast, for uplifting reviews, a marvelous fan fiction, and many good laughs. All the TV Tomers, especially Dark Element and the "club" of 'shippers, for always welcoming me with open arms and giving me a nice place that I can call home. The few at the Raven Shrine who still believe in R/BB…you are blessed (psycho shocker, deathblade13, Metrion…I hope you're reading this). And last, but never least…my very best online friend, ROBINROX, the wonderful person who adds joy to my online hours, and who lit the first lighter.

****

Replies:

Mint Dragon: Recommended fan fictions, at your request: "Hopelessly Devoted" and "Forbidden" by SuNsHiNe10, the Goddess of Romance Fan Fiction, and my personal idol…lol, I hope she's reading this, I love to embarrass her. "Let It Snow!" by Jeeto…the best Teen Titans Christmas story I've ever read; though still not finished. "The Raven," a great little parody poem by Manny PenPen. "Accounts from the Tower" by Toast, the ultimate random-moments Teen Titans fan fiction, with a deliciously angsty chapter every now and then. "A Tinge of Insomnia" by songbirdjen, one of the few one-shots that really worked its way into my deep appreciation. "Teen Titans: Interlude with Hormones" by Dark Poot…frickin wrong, frickin hilarious. "Teen Titans: World's Greatest" by Seth Turtle…action-packed, emotional, and containing the perfect amount of slight BB/R. "Say It With A Song" by Red Moon Kree, a heart-wrenching collection of songfics. "Obsessions" by Noriaki Kakyoin…rather harsh for the devoted 'shippers, but extremely good in a dark, creepy, haunting sort of way. If anyone else is reading this besides Mint Dragon…I also recommend "Blind" and "Payback," both by Mint Dragon herself. Awesome fics. And that's about all I have for now. Most of them can be found on my profile under favorite stories, but there are a few you might have to search for. So, I hope that keeps you occupied…lol.

The Earth's tears: I hope that this is not too cliché, and I deeply apologize if it is. I already had it planned out for months, though, and couldn't go back on it. Please forgive me! T_T

ROBINROX: Wow! I could publish it? Well, if the opportunity arose, you know I would, but unfortunately it's just a fan fiction…

Rainbow Phoenix: Whoa, you cried? That's so…cool! I mean, not in a bad way, lol…but sadness was what I was aiming for. Thanks much. ^^

Le Chat: Yep, I only realized how long the last chappie was when I did the Word Count on Microsoft Word. It freaked me out. I hadn't intended for it to be so long, I suppose it just came out that way. Anyway, how are you delusional? lol…

Brave Raven: Raven never let BB in her room because…well…she wouldn't. At least, if it happened on the show, I couldn't see her doing that. I was trying to convey with that scene that even while I make their relationship seem all poetic and everything, they still get on each other's every last nerve. Besides, if Raven had let him in, there would've been no room for the nice little chat with Cyborg, which I had wanted to include. ^^

Scarred Phoenix: Yes, I wrote the poem myself. ::blushes:: I too like "My Last Breath"…in fact, I love every single song on that CD, which is the first time that's ever happened. Heehee.

Dragon Of The Rose: Um…well…thank you for The Fish! ^_^

TrickyFrog: Okay. First, I want to say that your reviews uplifted me so much that I started grinning madly and telling everyone in my house about what you said. It made me particularly happy to know that I convinced someone of the possibility of BB and Raven. That was the entire purpose of this fic…it was not only for the original 'shippers to enjoy, but for those who didn't believe in the relationship. I wanted so badly to _prove _its possibility. I had been on the forums forever, desperately posting my theories and ideas that no one seemed to understand. People ignored me…either that, or they called me "misled and deranged." They didn't _get _the point I was trying to make, and it was only then that I realized the only way I was going to be heard was by putting my ideas into a story. Hence this fan fiction was created. But anyway, I am ecstatic that someone heard my little voice! This relationship is a serious possibility, and even if the writers don't decide to take the show in that direction, I want everyone to know that they very well could have. Thank you for making my day.

Celeste: lol! As much as I love your suggestion, because I can't resist the fluffiness, I feel an obligation toward in-character-ness. Slow-paced romance is the most delicious…so no kissing or "I love you" confessions just yet. Heehee. Remember, Beast Boy has barely even admitted it to himself. I see love as a kind of disease, with all the stages involved: incubation, prodromal, acute, and recovery (sorry for all the weird terms, I just recently escaped Health class). BB and Raven are only in the incubation stage. It's there in their subconscious, but they haven't admitted it yet, even to themselves. However, they are quickly evolving into the prodromal stage, in which the first symptoms begin to appear. I'm not going to go anywhere _near _the acute stage, because, to be realistic, we all know that BB/R is going to take ages just to step out of the prodromal. And recovery, in this situation, is non-existent. _True_ love, the love that really lasts, knows no recovery. :)

Darkness Gathering: Novels? Wow! Thank you! I don't think that's possible for me right now, I'm only 14…but I do hope to write professionally someday, so that was a very uplifting remark. About dedicating a chappie to ya, you know I am grateful to you for all the wonderful encouragement you've provided. Therefore, I do hereby dedicate this chapter to you too…though you're not up there in the "official" dedication, know that I always appreciate what you have to say!

NessaGGD: Hey! ^_^ Thank you for your compliments…and Dave Matthews Band rocks! XD I especially love "Gray Street"—it's my theme song.

Muse: Well, I love you too…you're a fellow 'shipper! ^^

Weasly4eva: Ah, I don't know about that. I specialize in angst and the deep stuff, but the thing about Sunshine is that she specializes in _everything._ She stays so very true to the show itself, I often get confused between what happened in Teen Titans and what happened in her fan fiction. Her dialogue is so perfect that you can hear it, you can see every expression on the characters' faces…the fact that she wrote her fic at all was a setback for me, because I thought there was no point in trying after such a marvelous fiction had already been done. ^_^ While I go in depth on everything trying to explain the relationship between Beast Boy and Raven, she sums it up in a few deliciously innocent, true, simple descriptions that go so much farther than my elaborate ones ever could. Sometimes I reread "Forbidden" or "Hopelessly Devoted," for the sheer heck of it, and every single time a smile lights up my face and my faith is restored instantly. That girl's writing has worked magic. She sets the standard that all fic writers should try to live up to. All I can hope for her is that someday she becomes a romance novelist…it would be a shame to have such talent go to waste.

Marshmello Da Strawberry Cow: Heh, sorry, I know they're long. Oh well, I've always been like that…my middle school teachers would tell me to write a page about myself and I would always end up writing five or six. O.O About the space at the end, I have no idea why it does that. It'll probably do it with this chappie too, and I apologize for that annoyance. Must get screwed up when I convert it to HTML or somethin'.

On with the third chapter!

**************************************************************************************

…And there she was.

Instantly he felt the whirling, unreal aura of a dream sweep over him like a strong wind. She had been out of his reach for seven days straight, just beyond the door, just beyond his potential. But there she was, in flesh and blood, alive…Beast Boy could not be sure that the serene figure on the cot was real.

And then, a splash of relief. Some part of him, not being able to see her, had assumed her dead. This portion of his mind had concluded that, because she had no voice and no strength to open her eyes, she was no longer alive. Now, he knew better.

There she was.

He could see her from where he stood, he could see everything…her eyes, closed in terrible harmonious resignation. Her hair that fell to her shoulders in the front, unmoving because she could no longer turn her head. Her face that was permanently expressionless, unchanging, unfeeling. The deep gash in her side that had been dressed with layers and layers of endless white gauze…while the suppressed blood continued to seep through to the outermost coating, turning the white a faint hue of red. Scars lashed into the once-smooth skin of her arms and legs, and a discolored purple bruise spread across the range of her throat where the monster had attempted to drive the air out of her lungs. Her breath was drawn in deeply and pushed out slowly, as though she were simply taking a nap in spite of all the disaster that had befallen her body.

For a moment, Beast Boy's feet were rooted to the spot. The paper bag crinkled softly beneath his trembling fingers, and he listened to it intently, as if its rustle was enough to break the burden of silence that the room bore. White crept along the walls and onto the unmoving body that slept on the bed. It littered what may have been color, clouding all other emotions and enveloping the room so that it was sealed from all other eyes. Beast Boy was alone now, alone in a way that he had never felt before. It was not because he wasn't sharing the room with another soul…he knew he was, because she was there. It was the kind of aloneness that sprang from the knowing that while someone else was there in front of you, you could never reach them.

In his state of transfixion, only his eyes remained mobile. They darted around the room in curiosity, in caution, in fear. There was a small table directly beside the bed, adorned with an assortment of gifts, cards, and letters…mostly from fans, Beast Boy presumed, allowing his gaze to linger upon the festive-looking table. He was vaguely reminded of birthday parties he'd had as a child, when his parents were still alive, and the guests would arrive bearing a variety of colorful offerings.

Pulled close to Raven's bed was a single chair, wiry and discomforting. Starfire had been there, mostly…Beast Boy could picture the innocent alien girl poised on the chair, talking optimistically to her sleeping friend. She never did lose heart, despite the grimness of the circumstances. He caught sight of a small wastebasket below the chair, filled to the brim with crumpled wads of yellow paper. He wondered briefly what could have happened to make someone trash so many thoughts, whatever their use might have been.

The chair seemed forlorn and unused as it perched there, empty, beside the foreboding bed. He knew he would have to fill the space sooner or later, and there was no use procrastinating, as the villain Mad Mod had said once. He needed to do this. Not only were his conscience and his sanity depending on him…Raven was depending on him. He had disappointed her too many times in the past. This time, he wouldn't let her down.

Beast Boy forced himself to take a step forward. His feet seemed weighted, as if there were heavy chains attached to him; what should have been a simple step ahead became a tireless burden that grew with each movement he managed. Something was opposing him; he didn't know what, but he could feel it. Maybe it was merely the dread he continued to possess for the possible truth. The truth that he could not bear, the one thing he could not accept.

Raven had taught him to accept. She had taught him endurance. That's what she was doing that very second, as he pressed forward: she was enduring. Hanging on by a thread over the grim and daunting canyon of doom. Any average person, he supposed, would have given in long since. But Raven had that ability to endure, and she wasn't going to let death or fate or whatever this was crush her.

But time was running short. If she didn't break through soon, it would be too late. She had to save herself, she had to crack the silence, she had to find the light that was beckoning somewhere in the endless void of darkness. But although she was strong, she was not immortal. One person couldn't bear the weight of the world alone…

Beast Boy finally reached the chair and lowered himself down into it. The plastic bag crackled and swayed in his grasp, as if pleading for release. Obeying its unsaid message, he turned it upside down and allowed the CD to fall into his awaiting palm. It was cool to the touch.

Beast Boy stroked the sharp edges of the hard, plastic case, tracing his finger around its ridged perimeter. It was here, it was all here…the beautiful serenity. The pounding, rhythmic anger. The bittersweet pain, the chill, the harbored darkness that was Raven.

He lifted his eyes and peered over the surface of the CD, then set it aside on the table, averting his gaze to look at her. Her face was pale, her eyes listless, her lips closed quietly, though behind them a thousand unheard screams were erupting. _Wake me up inside. Wake me up inside._

A single hand dangled indifferently over the edge of the bed, giving the impression that she had died there in her sleep. But the heart monitor continued to beep steadily in Beast Boy's ears, scribbling patterns of waving green lines on the surface of his brain. It sounded to the tempo of that song, creating a ringing that echoed in the silence. Here it was again, the remnant of her. The life left in her that was subconsciously calling for help, summoning his touch, beckoning ever closer the life that flowed in him.

Beast Boy reached out and tentatively touched her arm. He jumped in surprise, drawing back abruptly. 

She was cold as ice…

__

Without a soul

My spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead

It back home…

The pieces came together. The song replayed and reiterated its message, over and over again. Lyrics tossed themselves about in his mind, guitars thrashed, a high voice cried in anguish. Raven's hand seemed to pulsate in its presence. Beast Boy didn't know how it was possible, but he had a strange feeling that she could hear it too.

He had an odd feeling that she was one _making _it…

__

Frozen inside without your touch

Without your love, darling…

Hesitantly, Beast Boy reached out to the sleeping dark girl once again. His hand came in contact with her arm, and though he cringed at the deathly chill the touch sent out in waves, he forced himself to ignore it. His hand ran down the curve of her arm until it reached the limp palm that hung suspended over the edge. Much to his surprise, his hand slipped into hers as easily as if it had not known home until that very moment.

Resolutely, Beast Boy laced his own fingers between hers and lifted her hand to eye level. He could feel each tiny intricacy of her finely lined palm. His gaze lingered a moment on the contrast that existed in the communion of their hands: the green with the white. The light and the dark…the fire and the ice. Despite the many differences, his fingers twined with Raven's in a perfect kind of unity. Raven's palm filled the empty void over his so perfectly, it looked as if their hands had been created simply to lock together.

__

Don't think like that, he scolded himself. Forcefully, he pushed his own thoughts deeper into the reaches of his mind, where even he could not find them. She was his best friend. He could not afford to think like that…

Beast Boy concentrated on remembering how to breathe. He had never touched Raven…not truly. There was always the occasional hand on her shoulder, or the friendly nudge. But never like this. And it was partly because she was simply…_untouchable_. She didn't want to be near others, to be embraced, to be stroked or held. Raven was isolated, and it had been that way for far too long. If she was awake, Beast Boy knew she would have pushed him away. But now, she needed this. She needed warmth, and light, and life…

"Raven, I—"

He trailed off, at a loss for words. He knew he had to talk. To say _something_. But it was difficult, with the way her eyes did not open to receive his message. It was awkward, with her hand still enclosed in his. And most of all, it was heart-wrenching, because he knew there would be no reply.

Gazing down at the floor, Beast Boy gave his friend's hand a gentle squeeze. "Okay, to tell ya the truth, I feel like an idiot. Like I'm talking to a wall or something."

The high-toned sound of his own voice shattering the silence startled him, and he chuckled nervously. "Then again, you were always like that…"

Lifting his head to see her face, he continued hurriedly.

"I don't even know why I'm doing this. You can't hear me. I mean, how could you? You barely even listened to me when you were awake, and now I'm kinda interrupting your sleep." Once again, a tiny giggle escaped his lips. "Well…I guess you'll just have to put up with me. For a while."

Beast Boy's thumb stroked the back of Raven's hand absently. He was abnormally surprised to find that he felt more like himself than he had in a week.

"I know you always cut yourself off from everyone. We all know that. But Raven…whether you like it or not, you have friends here who would do anything for you. And we're all really worried…I mean, you should see Starfire. She's turned into a total basket case!"

What was he saying? Starfire had handled things nicely, given the dire situation. _He _was the basket case.

"Okay, take that back. I admit it. I'm a basket case too. But it's not _just _me. It's all of us. We're just…not the same. And even though we try to cover it up, we really…really appreciate you, Raven."

Beast Boy's voice changed suddenly in pace, picking up speed as if there was a painful revelation in his words that he needed to rid himself of quickly.

"And all the stupid things we say, just trying to get you to notice us, we don't mean them. They just…come out. We never should have said them in the first place. All the times we argued with you, we know we could have just listened to you. But we didn't. We took you for granted, ya know? We didn't know how important you were to us until all this crap happened."

__

All of this time, I can't believe I couldn't see

Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me…

Beast Boy shifted uncomfortably in his chair, fumbling with her hand.

"We can't be ourselves without you. We can't do anything. The only color here is white, and it's like it's…it's just…everywhere. We're going ballistic. We feel horrible…it's like someone has told us we're going to die, and all we can do is wait for it. And we have to live knowing that you never knew how much—"

He stopped himself just in time, and exhaled deeply.

"Sorry. The point is…well, ya know when me and Cy went into your little mirror world? And we helped you fight that humongous red demon thing? I think you said it was your dad…man, that sucks. Well, anyway, you kept telling us to leave. You said that we would be trapped there forever if you lost. I guess you were afraid for us or something. But we didn't listen. We told you that we weren't going to leave you there alone."

An odd sort of feeling rose from somewhere within the pit of his stomach. It felt vaguely familiar; a burning sensation that seemed to be fighting for release. At first Beast Boy wasn't sure what to make of it. It was pressing at his eyes as though threatening to explode behind them. Ignoring the feeling, he continued.

"We fought that stupid thing till it dropped dead. Or at least something like that. It didn't stand a chance. And Raven, when you were falling I took you back up to solid ground. You asked me why I stayed…you thought I didn't like you."

__

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything…

Beast Boy exuded a sudden violent shudder.

"I guess I never answered—"

His voice cracked, and one hand flew up to his neck in a vain attempt to relieve his burning throat. That feeling in him was multiplying, bursting out all over the place, welling up like something was going to go over the brim. Beast Boy tried to make his voice return, but all that sounded was a whimper. Finally, he managed a tiny whisper.

"I never would have left you."

There was nothing left to fight. Nothing left to stand against. He needed to break down. He needed to let it go. Somehow he knew there was hope but there was no way to be so sure and if she did not wake up and if she left him here alone he would never be the same and he would never find himself in this madness…

"So…don't leave me."

And then it happened. A single, silent tear rivered down Beast Boy's cheek.

He didn't even attempt to brush it away. He just let it fall, the way it was supposed to, the way it should have for an entire week…for years. Beast Boy cried, and he didn't will himself to stop. He cried because there was nothing left to do. Nothing could be done for her, and he couldn't change this truth. As his friend lay here dying, awaiting her fate at the break of morning, for once he had to put it all in someone else's hands, he had to let that unknown force take control. Raven was going to leave them all, and despite the fact that he was considered a hero, he was nobody's savior. He never had been. It wasn't up to him to save Raven, or his friends, or himself. They were all powerless beneath the invisible hand of fate, left to their own demise, left to enjoy the ones they loved for the brief time that life lasted. Suddenly, Beast Boy didn't know why, but he thought that death might take him next…might take Starfire, might take Cyborg, might take any of one of them. 

But it had already taken the most important thing of all…the source of darkness, caring, friendship, shade, sarcasm, beauty, strength, and wisdom; the counterbalance that kept him alive…

__

Raven.

Suddenly, Beast Boy's head vaulted up in alarm. His eyes, still glistening from the recent arrival of unfallen tears, traveled across Raven's serene face in astonishment. There was a change in the room. Something about the stillness in the air…it changed, and felt like it was circulating again. Beast Boy could sense it the moment it happened. It was instinct, and he recognized it instantly…something about the atmosphere had lifted a notch, and was bursting with positive thought.

It was only then that he felt it. There was a soft pressure on his hand. 

He looked down, and realized with a start that her palm within his was no longer limp. In a kind of slow apprehension, her narrow fingers curled around his, as if holding onto something for dear life. Beast Boy held his breath, tensing as his eyes blinked wildly from her hand to her face. What was going on…?

And then, a whisper…barely that. A voice practically inaudible floated through the room, fragile, but at the same time…strong. Deep, assured, calm, familiar. It was a voice that he had coveted for seven long days.

"I won't."

A flash of color spurred the room. Deep, metallic blue. The color you'd see if the ocean ever froze over…

Raven had opened her eyes.

Beast Boy sat, frozen, his mouth agape, his eyes glazed with shock. He wasn't quite sure what was real anymore. Then, it hit him like a slap in the face…reality check. She was awake.

"AAAHHH!!!" Beast Boy pulled his hand away as quickly as a bolt of lightning, then fell out of his chair with an abrupt clatter that rang across the entire hospital. A dazed Raven raised an eyebrow, confused, unsure of whether she should ask where she was or burst out laughing. The startled boy rose to his feet quickly and allowed his jaw to remain dropped in full expression of a delirious shock.

"YOU'RE AWAKE?! HOW DID…WHAT JUST…_HOW MUCH DID YOU HEAR?_" Quite suddenly, he remembered that he had been crying, and he blushed a hot scarlet as his hand flew to his face and quickly smeared the single tear away.

Raven replied with a weak smirk, then whispered calmly. "Just the last part…"

But Beast Boy didn't stick around to hear the answer. He had already darted out of Raven's room and into the waiting room, screaming at the top of his lungs. "STAR! ROBIN! SHE'S AWAKE!"

He felt wave after wave of warm relief crash over him, one after the other. She was awake. He had done it. Raven was awake. She wasn't going to die. He had done it!

As he bounded across the whitewashed hallway, gasping for breath and spinning with delicious relief and reality, he knew that everything had been restored. Before his eyes were colors, millions of colors that he had only begun to notice…the metallic gray gleam of the cameras dotted along the ceiling, the rainbow variety of color in the framed posters on the walls, the screaming red of the buttons on the elevator. And just ahead, the auburn of Starfire's hair; and the yellow, green, and red vibrancy of Robin's costume. Beast Boy could hear the thudding of his feet against the carpet and the heartbeat pulsing in his ears. He could feel the tension in his fingers as he flexed them, the blood rushing to his cheeks in his joy, and the thrill of the air flying past him as he ran. But most of all, he could feel the color he thought he had lost, sweeping over him again, whirling past him as he tore down the hallway. Raven's eyes seeped back into his memory, and he could feel them, and he could feel her…

Beast Boy reached the sleeping couple triumphantly and shook them awake. "ROBIN! GET UP! SHE'S AWAKE! I WOKE HER UP!"

"Wha…?" The Boy Wonder shoved him away, muttering to himself with lidded eyes. "Tell me in the morning." Starfire stirred with a slight moan of annoyance, but remained in her comfortable position on Robin's shoulder.

"ARE YOU GUYS DEAF? HELLO! I SAID, RAVEN'S AWAKE!"

Starfire's eyes flew open abruptly, and for a moment she looked around the room with a dazed expression. "Hm? Beast Boy…what did you—" a wide yawn interrupted her question, and she sat up before it died away, rubbing her eyes absentmindedly and staring at her green friend in confusion.

"Star, she's awake! Come on! Come see!"

  
At this final realization Starfire's jaw dropped, and in a flash she shot up from the cushioned chair, fully awake, tugging on Robin's arm anxiously. "Robin! Awaken! Beast Boy says that Raven is awake!"

Feeling a sudden pang of guilt for leaving Raven alone, Beast Boy sped off in the direction of Patient Room 124, gasping for breath. He flung the door open and burst through, fleeing over to the side of her bed anxiously. "I'm sorry! I was just getting Robin and Star! Are you okay?" he sputtered in one enormous breath.

The dark girl opened her mouth to reply, but she wasn't quick enough—at this exact moment, Starfire sped through the door, Robin at her heels, and gasped in joy. "Raven!" she cried happily, her feet lifting slowly off the ground as her "unbridled joy" became more conspicuous. The Tamaranean girl hastened to her friend's side, leaned down, and caught Raven in a somewhat life-threatening hug.

"You have awakened!" Starfire's sing-song voice cooed happily as she squeezed the life out of her friend. "Oooh, there is much to tell you! But I must first recite the Poem of Perfect and Unrestrained Happiness, the longest and most cherished of all Tamaranean poetry!"

Beneath Starfire's crushing embrace, Raven moaned slightly. "Ugh…Starfire…you're hurting me…"

Starfire gasped in horror. "Oh! I apologize!" She backed away from her friend, her face flushed with joy and embarrassment.

Raven reached a hand up to her head, and winced. "Oww…what happened? Did we beat him?"

Robin raised an eyebrow, then realized what his friend meant, and began to laugh. "Oh, him? Yeah, BB let him have it."

A flood of voices swept over the room…Starfire babbled, Robin conversed, Beast Boy chattered. Raven didn't interrupt—she was slightly confused, oddly content, and very, very tired, though she couldn't pinpoint why. She felt no strength to talk, or do anything else, for that matter.

Raven's eyes shifted around the room as she looked at each of her friends in turn. Each of them beamed at her, Starfire wringing her hands excitedly, Robin grinning with relief, Beast Boy flashing her a contagious smile. 

For some reason, her gaze lingered on her green friend. Their eyes met quietly. He was rocking on his heels, eyes dark and shining in the brightness of the room. Quite suddenly…she didn't know why, but…she felt as if she owed him something.

Robin pulled out his communicator and sent a message off to Cyborg, beckoning him to return to the hospital and see his newly awakened friend. Starfire pulled up a chair and leaned over her friend, touching her hand and jabbering happily away. Beast Boy watched his friends, the Titans, reunited with a new appreciation for all that was really important. But mostly, he watched Raven, realizing all that he had never seen before, looking at his own life through new eyes. He watched as she coolly replied to their comments, smirked at their melodramatic musings, wondered in awe at their undying concern. Beast Boy watched her, and appreciated her, not because he wanted to or because he had been dragged into it. For the first time, quite clearly, he saw everything he had almost lost, but had fortunately found. There in front of him, in the dark, she had always existed…but now he knew. 

And—he realized with breathless surprise—he was flooded with gratitude.

***

"Okay, okay, I've got one! So this guy walks into a bar in—"

"A…bar? What is this 'bar' you speak of, Beast Boy?"

"Uh…well, it's, um…Raven? Starfire wants to know what a bar is."

Raven sighed exasperatedly. "Yes, Beast Boy, I realize that." She turned her pale face to the naïve alien. "A bar is a place where immature, arrogant people go to talk and drink a substance called alcohol that rots the brain and causes cancer of the liver."

Pressed close against her, Beast Boy giggled at the blunt wisdom. "Oh," whispered Starfire. "I see."

The trio made their way slowly down the brightly-lit hallway of Titans Tower. It had been only one week since Raven's return from the coma, but the dark girl had jumped at her first opportunity to escape from the hospital. Apparently (as she had confided to her friends the moment the nurses had turned their backs), the food was absolutely unbearable, and she was growing restless lying in a hospital bed for hours upon end.

Now, she found herself half-wishing that she had stayed—her wounds, particularly the large stitches in her side, were still causing her considerable pain; not to mention the fact that she was still weak as a kitten. Raven knew she would be pretty much useless to the Titans for the next couple of weeks—her lack of energy made any flight or powers utterly impossible. She supposed they would just have to put up with her until she got her strength back.

The expression on Raven's face at this moment was particularly sour, as it was being pressed with conflicting emotions of embarrassment, annoyance, and amusement. Her position was not exactly favorable: her left arm was hung over Starfire's shoulders, her right over Beast Boy's; and the normally independent young woman was helplessly sandwiched between her two lighthearted friends, literally hanging onto them for dear life. If someone had seen them from a distance, they might have gotten the impression that the three were melded together at the sides. It was particularly mortifying and deathly to Raven's reputation to not even be able to walk on her own, and she had never been too fond of close physical contact—but her friends had proved themselves gentle and concerned, so she had allowed herself to be helped to her room.

"Like I was _saying_," Beast Boy continued good-naturedly, "the guy walks into a bar in Texas and—"

"Texas? What is…Texas?"

Raven and BB both groaned.

"It's a large state in the southwestern part of the U.S." Raven looked apathetic.

"Yeah, what she said." Beast Boy cast the dark girl a sideways, boyish grin. His gaze lingered on her for longer than he had intended as he etched her profile into his mind. A few scars were still present over her smooth complexion, and the bruise at the nape of her neck had not yet begun to heal. Nevertheless, the shapeshifter smiled contentedly, happy just to be beside her.

Realizing quite abruptly that she was in the spotlight of his adoring gaze, Raven raised a curved eyebrow at her friend, turning her head ever-so-slightly to meet his eyes. "What?" she implored suddenly, shattering his concentration with a miniscule, barely perceivable smirk.

"Nothing." Beast Boy continued to grin, even after he redirected his stare to the hallway winding before him.

Though he refused to admit it, even to himself, this _was _a rather blissful position. His left side had conformed to the contours of her body in their close contact, and her arm was draped over his shoulders in what was like the better half of an embrace. Beast Boy clasped her pale hand in his and held it close to his cheek, feeling her every intake of breath and even, occasionally, the drumming of her heart.

Words could not describe how grateful he was for the rhythm of this heart close to his, or the blood that flowed through his friend's veins, making her warm and giving her life. Beast Boy wasn't quite ready to remember the internal hell it had been without her.

He liked the feel of her weight bearing over him; it helped him to know that he was lifting some of her burden. But then again, that was the way it always was with Raven. With her—for the first time in his life—he was content to linger in someone else's shadow. He was happy just to lift someone else up.

"_Anyways_," he began, emphasizing his call for attention by shooting a glower of warning at Starfire, "the guy walks into a bar in Texas. Then, check this out, he sees a—"

"Oh! It appears we have reached our destination!" The red-haired alien beamed warmly as Raven's gray bedroom door came into view.

"_Starfire!_"

She looked offended. "I apologize, I was merely stating that—"

Raven cut in. "Don't worry about it, Starfire. I'm sure we didn't miss much."

A vein popped out of Beast Boy's head in rising frustration. "No one appreciates comedy anymore!"

Raven cast Starfire a sideways glance that visibly read, "Yeah, right," and the alien girl giggled in amusement.

As the six plodding legs slowed to a gentle stop in front of Raven's door, Starfire's uninhibited concern resurfaced. "Raven, do you wish us to assist you—"

"No, it's alright, I'll be fine," Raven murmured, eager to be free of the all-too-supportive arms of her friends. Beast Boy reluctantly slipped from beneath her arm and stepped away from the dark girl; Starfire, on the other side, did the same, though with considerably more enthusiasm than her green teammate. Almost immediately Raven came toppling down like a pile of bricks.

"Eeep!" squealed Starfire, bending low in a rush to scoop up her weak friend—but Beast Boy was faster. In one breathless, intuitive motion, his hands sprang from his sides and circled around Raven's arms the moment before she hit the floor. Raven's eyes, which had been squeezed shut to brace herself for the impact of the fall, flew open abruptly at the gentle, fearful feeling of falling so helplessly against someone else. She looked up at Beast Boy's face. 

He chuckled nervously. "Heh…guess you weren't as sturdy as we thought."

Starfire watched with anxiety as the two quickly regained composure. "Oh, Raven, I am sorry! I should have partaken in the act of helping you stand for many moments longer! Are you undamaged? I hope I have not been the cause of such pain and—"

"Whoa. Just chill," the dark girl assured her friend, as Beast Boy helped her to her feet. One white hand grasped the wall determinedly. "It's not your fault." For a reason neither Starfire nor Beast Boy could understand, Raven reached a hand up and pulled her hood over her purple-crowned head. The second after, two dark eyes bore cryptically at them from the shadows. 

Raven gyrated slowly to face her own door, and punched a few numbers into the keypad beside it. The entrance flew open almost immediately, and she stepped quietly in, stopping to rest her back against the frame.

"Raven, are you certain—?"

"Yes, Starfire, I'll be alright," the girl replied weakly, folding her arms over her chest, her eyes bearing into her teammate's brighter ones. Starfire beamed cheerfully.

"Well, if you require further assistance, your friends are always here for you," she informed dutifully, smiling widely at the beautiful concept of friendship that she loved. Raven suppressed a tiny smile before stepping completely through the doorway, one hand still guiding her way along the wall, the other at the ready to seal the entrance of her dark domain. Her eyes flickered over her two friends gratefully, knowingly, lovingly. In all honesty, she didn't belong anywhere without them. They were the reason she continued to fight.

"'Night," Beast Boy chimed.

Raven's eyes rested on his, and she paused for a moment before replying. When finally her lips parted, her voice came in so hushed that it could barely be called a whisper: "…Good night."

In a flash of swift movement, a whir of gray and a flutter of blue, the door clicked shut.

For a moment, Starfire and Beast Boy were stock-still. Perhaps they were listening to see if their friend would take another fall, or maybe there was simply no need for conversation. But for whatever reason, the two friends stood, gazing intently at the closed door before them as if it concealed a thousand unsolved mysteries behind it. And, in a way…it did.

Finally, Starfire turned her head and allowed her gaze to linger upon her green friend. Her eyes contained a beseeching curiosity. "Beast Boy, are you unwell?"

BB's head swiveled around abruptly to meet the alien girl's eyes. Saying that he was confused would have been an understatement. His brows furrowed in incomprehension. "I'm fine, Star. What made ya think that?"

Slowly, Starfire smiled. "Your face…it is a most vibrant shade of red."

***

Through the blanket of darkness that had settled over the city, not a single pinprick of light could be seen. Purplish-blue clouds hovered here and there in the expectant sky, and a bitter chill gnawed at the exposed flesh of the city's inhabitants as they hastened past. It was a blustery evening, graced with the occasional descent of a snow flurry. The city was brimming with the sensory delights of the whipping wind, the glowing traffic, and the brilliant beams of streetlights that towered above the slick roads. Crimson-cheeked children skidded playfully on patches of ice as they walked by with their parents. Restless night-shifters switched lanes in the endless throng of hissing traffic. The wealthy strolled in fur towards the churning doors of gold-decked hotels, while the less fortunate bundled together in alleyways, warming their hands over a few flickering flames. Jump City, in its small, unseeing corner of the world, was bustling with the chilly glow of night life.

From where he sat idly beside the huge window, Robin observed the tiny cars that inched past in a sea of shining gold and red. The Boy Wonder pressed his face against the cold glass. It was this city that he felt called to serve, these people who were in need of his protection—from monsters, from criminals, from Slade. Without the Titans, this city would be lost; and without this city, the Titans would be lacking their reason for life.

Inside the lived-in comfort of the Tower, Robin turned to face his friends, who were scattered randomly across the main room. He wryly smiled. _They_ were his real reason for life. It was amazing, he thought, how close he was to them after only a year as a team. But during that time they had fought, ate, slept, laughed, cried, and breathed together nonstop, with no break from one another's company, and no relief from each other's nerves. Robin supposed that in itself was enough to bring five very different people together as lifelong friends.

He shifted in place and pondered the dynamic of his team. It was so weird—they might as well all be dominos. When one Titan fell, the rest toppled over after their teammate. Each person provided something necessary for the team that they couldn't cope without. They were all linked together in their relationships, all connected, all ultimately affected by one another. Despite the constant bickering that resulted from living together 24/7, everyone was so utterly unique and helpful that the five friends pieced together as perfectly and precisely as a jigsaw puzzle. It was what made them strong.

Cyborg was their confidence. Their assurance. Their solid rock. Robin couldn't count the times he had find himself ranting to Cyborg, numbering his problems on his fingers, voicing every single doubt on his mind aloud. And even though Cyborg didn't always have a viable solution, he _did _always have a listening ear. Something about the way the cybernetic teen dove headfirst into a situation, perpetually giving his all, was very vital to the team.

He and Cyborg were alike in many ways, Robin thought. That was why they clashed so horribly—the two tended to argue endlessly until one of them finally cracked and stormed off to ventilate somewhere. But when it boiled down to it, forgiveness ensued between the friends. No one had covered Robin's back quite as many times as Cyborg had, and this gave them a powerful bond that somehow managed to survive every single one of their torrential disagreements.

Then there was Beast Boy. The laughter of the group. The sheer delightful insanity. Things seemed to explode into being when the green comedian walked in, and without him, the Titans lost their ability to lighten up and see the amusing side of life. BB wasn't always funny (actually, he was usually horribly corny), but his easygoing manner allowed the team to relax, to kick back and enjoy all the crazy twists and turns that life had to offer.

Beast Boy was the younger brother of everyone, including Robin. The two had never been very close, but when they did interact, that was the kind of relationship that existed. BB could annoy the crap out of the leader of the Titans, while Robin in turn could shove him away, much as any older brother would do. But usually, they got along remarkably well. Robin would guide him in achieving his goals, and Beast Boy would make the time they spent getting there considerably more fun.

And next on the list was Starfire—the optimism. The innocence. The simple, cheerful, gold-hearted kindness that had saved them all time and time again. God only knew where the Titans would be without the alien's imploring view of Earth and her undying desire to know more. She was so very warm and all-accepting…when her friends were caught up in the chaos of civil war, that unconquerable sweetness of hers always melted each of them back into their place.

Star had as many questions as a pestering five-year-old, but the crazy thing was, Robin didn't mind answering any of them. In fact, he enjoyed every second of her company. He savored every single word that fell from her mouth. There was something undeniably appealing about her, and she was his best friend.

__

No…that's not it.

Robin sighed and folded his arms over his chest. He wasn't quite sure what to call Starfire anymore. She was a friend, of course, but she extended beyond that simple, overused word. He _had _settled on calling her his _best _friend, but lately that label too seemed to have faded beneath the vibrancy of all that made him thankful for Star. It just wasn't fitting anymore. He knew she deserved the title more than anyone else, but it left him unfulfilled, as if he wanted to shower her with an even higher honor than that of "best friend." But what exactly _was _above a best friend? Nothing, of course.

__

Unless…

The blood rushed to Robin's face, and he quickly took this as a sign to steer his mind clear of the subject.

Last but never least, his thoughts drifted to the one Titan who formed the final piece of the puzzle: Raven. Their sanity, their strength, their calm. The week the team had spent without her had been a chaotic jumble of emotion and spiraling insanity. Robin had never realized before just how much they all needed her for their overall mental health. Raven was the one who taught them how to stay cool, to control themselves, to quit complaining and carry their burdens sensibly. There were so many times when, if she had not interceded with wisdom and tranquility at the ready, the Titans would have driven themselves crazy.

The relationship between the leader and the dark girl was one of deep, underlying respect. They left one another alone, both of them being very fond of privacy, and didn't question each other's opinions or logic. They were, in truth, very much alike—both were extremely intelligent, self-sacrificial, and independent—and the two understood one another in a way that was left unsaid.

Robin knew Raven could take care of herself, so he didn't worry over her—but sometimes, he felt concern for his deeply secretive friend. She was very grim, very pessimistic, very unfeeling and alone. And he, believe it or not, knew how it felt to be that way.

But since he had met Starfire…there had been a certain light about his life that he was drawn to. It was only recently that he'd realized she was the one generating it. This light had beckoned, guided, and brightened everything for the past year—beneath it, his secrets were exposed, and he felt no need to hide. The purpose in everything became clear; in her eyes was a resolution that he had been looking for forever. The absolution he tried so desperately to grant himself through all his searching, all his working, all his fruitless attempts to find Slade and to rise above the others, brought him nothing but the emptiness he had started with. It was only when he was with her that he found forgiveness and completion. The world became as new for him as it was for her, and a certain childlike innocence that he thought he had lost forever was all restored. In her, he had finally found peace…Starfire, his best friend and confidant, had saved him.

Though Robin knew Raven would never admit it, she needed some kind of light. She had the same aura of darkness that he did, except that her case was about ten times more intense. That was what he wondered about. Wasn't there some person in the world who could trespass into her darkness and bring her warmth, the way that Starfire had done for him? Robin believed that there was. He supposed it was simply a matter of waiting for that person to come around. Or maybe they already had—Raven just hadn't realized it yet.

Robin smirked as he rose from the window and plopped down into the couch next to Cyborg—who had, from the looks of it, been sucked into the three-dimensional free-for-all fantasy that was Super Smash Brothers Melee.

"Which level are you on?" Robin interrogated, reaching for the open bag of Chex Mix that had been abandoned on the coffee table. His friend merely grunted in reply. On screen, a determined-looking hero garbed in green launched arrows at a giant white hand that was repeatedly pounding him into the ground. Cyborg groaned and jabbed restlessly at the purple game controller, his face sunken.

Warm peals of feminine laughter floated up from the floor where Starfire sat cross-legged, surrounded by an assortment of scrapped photos, newspaper clippings, colored pencils, and caking bottles of glue. She leaned over the unfinished scrapbook in her lap and gently tossed a photo to Beast Boy. Opposite from her, sprawled lazily on his stomach, he caught it in a single outstretched hand.

"Do you remember the evening we visited the park of amusement?" Starfire babbled reminiscently. "We flew upon the coasters which rolled, won prizes of large furry inanimate creatures, consumed mounds of edible pink cotton…" The Tamaranean girl counted off all the wonderful things about the amusement park on her fingers, suddenly sneaking a glance at Robin. "…Gazed upon the slightly frightening yet very beautiful explosions of fire in the sky…"

Beast Boy studied the picture in his hands and giggled. It was a group photo, probably taken by some random person they had approached and asked the favor of. The Titans stood in front of a large ferris wheel, each of their faces bright from the colors that danced around them. Robin grinned casually, one hand on Starfire's left shoulder, who was (oddly enough) smiling shyly. Her eyes were gleaming quietly, and a tinge of crimson brightened her cheeks. Beside her, Cyborg beamed enormously, his eyes squinted shut in glee. Raven looked as stony as always, her arms crossed over her chest, her legs concealed by the smooth falling folds of her cape. She was casting a sidelong glance in the direction of Beast Boy, who grinned maniacally, striking a cheesecake pose for the camera with a large stuffed snake that was wrapped around his neck. His eyes were bugged out, and his hands clutched his throat as he feigned being choked by the lifeless creature. All five of the Titans held a can of their signature sodas, and Robin grasped a warm, dripping caramel apple that made Beast Boy's mouth water as he looked over the picture.

"Beast Boy, can I see it?" Robin extended an awaiting hand from the couch, eager to return to the distant night at the fair. Beast Boy obeyed and handed over the old photo, which the leader accepted gratefully, reclining back into the cushioned depths of the sofa. Shortly, he began to chuckle, tickled by the nature of each of the Titans' poses. "Good times," he muttered, as Beast Boy reached for another stack of pictures.

BB couldn't believe all the things Starfire had held onto. There were events in her randomized piles that he had completely forgotten about: headlines about minor villains that had temporarily terrorized the city; remnants of collaborated online chats the Titans had had with their fans; bottle caps with funny messages on their undersides that Beast Boy had found lying around the street; the crude, handmade birthday card each of the Titans had signed when Starfire turned one hundred and four (sixteen, in human years). It was amazing how one person could remember so much, and hold it all so close.

A sigh descended from the sofa, and Robin stood abruptly, making his way to the kitchen and pulling open the refrigerator. "Man, I'm thirsty." He reached a gloved hand in and removed a Coke. "Star, you want one?"

Starfire looked up from her work and beamed. "Why, yes," she stated happily, thrusting an index finger into the air informatively. "I would be delighted to consume a carbonated beverage of high fructose corn syrup and/or sucrose, caramel color, phosphoric acid, natural flavors, and caffeine!"

Robin and Beast Boy sweatdropped.

"What am I, chop liver?!" Cyborg whined, thumbs violently punching random buttons into his controller. "Get me a soda too!"

Robin's eyes narrowed ominously at his oblivious friend, but he filched a third soda from the fridge nevertheless, mumbling something under his breath. In the blink of an eye, the can was flying across the room in the general direction of Cyborg.

"Ow!" The cry of pain was accompanied by the hollow, clanging sound of metal on metal. Cyborg's hand flew to his head to nurse the wound—while on screen, the green-clad hero stumbled off the edge of a rock into the black abyss below. The flaming words "GAME OVER" emerged onto the screen, and Cyborg's jaw dropped in astonishment as he gaped at his involuntary failure, the full can of Coca-Cola rolling forlornly on the sofa beside him.

"Oh, I'm _sorry_, Cyborg. I sure hope it doesn't _explode _on you," Robin crooned sweetly. Beast Boy was suddenly dissolved in a fit of the giggles, and began rolling rampantly across the floor, consumed by hysterical laughter. Robin grinned with satisfaction.

"Oh, Cyborg, are you injured?" Starfire jumped up in concern, abandoning her scrapbook to rush to her friend's aid. "I shall destroy the flying carbonated beverage of high fructose corn syrup and/or sucrose, caramel color, phosphoric acid, natural flavors, and caffeine!" The alien girl had a starbolt at the ready, and was, to the horror of everyone except Beast Boy (who was struggling to breathe through his own maniacal laughter), aiming at the innocent can of soda.

"No! It's alright, Star, I'm okay." The cybernetic teen scooped up the can in an immense palm and cupped it there for protection. He shot a menacing glare at Robin. "I'm just _slightly _pissed that _Robin_ here made me lose this game when I was on the _last _level!"

Beast Boy's outbursts of laughter finally subsided, and he spread out over the carpet once again, one hand over his stomach. "Gotta give it to ya, Rob…that was a good one!" He grinned.

The Boy Wonder snickered with jubilance, starting towards Starfire and gently handing her one of the two sodas he held. Lowering her glowing hand with an expression of defeat, she accepted it quickly, an adorable frown plastered over her face. Robin leaned in to whisper in her ear. "He deserved it."

The Tamaranean girl jerked away abruptly, averting her gaze to look her friend directly in the eye. Her eyes glinted dangerously. "Thank you," she snapped, popping the soda open with a sharp fizzle, never removing her stare from Robin. She took a sip and continued to gaze at him in superior disapproval, as if daring him to say anything else. Defeated and, truthfully, very intimidated, the masked boy gulped, turned, and slunk away.

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow and watched as Starfire returned to her position over the scrapbook. That girl was all sweetness…until you made her mad.

As things once again settled into some form of normality—Cyborg and Robin now competing in versus mode, Starfire doodling sketches of her friends on the pages of her scrapbook—Beast Boy returned to the entertaining process of examining the pictures. All of them. Each photo told a different story, relived a different memory. There was a certain excitement in not knowing what picture you were going to run across next, or what images it was going to replay in your head.

Quite suddenly, Starfire looked up, pressing the cool can of soda to her bronze cheek. She sighed contentedly. "Friends, is it not wonderful to have Raven back?"

Beast Boy's head shot up at the mention of her name.

"Yeah," murmured Robin and Cyborg in unison. Cyborg threw a barrel over Robin's head, and in turn the leader began to chuck bombs at his opponent. But BB remained alert. He wondered briefly if he should answer—no, no, not a good idea. He was, of course, relieved and overjoyed to have the presence of Raven floating through the Tower once again. But…he didn't want to think about just how _much _relief and joy had washed over him. If he let anyone else know, they might think he was—

"Beast Boy?"

He jumped in surprise. "Huh…what?"

"Is it not wonderful to have Raven back?" Starfire cocked her head expectantly, her eyes imploring.

"Oh." He had been afraid of this. Beast Boy rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Well…yeah…I guess…"

He breathed a light sigh of relief as Star smiled, satisfied, and gestured invitingly towards a single deserted stack of photos. "I believe you have not viewed these yet," she stated with anticipation.

"'Kay." Beast Boy leaned over and snatched up the deliciously uninvestigated batch of pictures, eagerly rolling onto his side to have a better look. The first in the pile depicted a lush green landscape, dotted with a few white benches that nestled beneath tall oaks. In the foreground, Starfire, Cyborg, Raven, and Beast Boy sat cross-legged on a red-checked picnic blanket, the sun beaming light over their faces.

__

I remember this, he thought to himself as he studied the photo. Robin must have taken the picture. Against the red and white pattern of the blanket, Beast Boy's arms were thrown above his head in glee, as if he were telling some outrageous joke. Star lay comfortably on her stomach, her head in her palms, as she watched him—confusion at the humor of Earth inevitably etched in her features. Cyborg pointed at BB wildly, one hand slapped to his forehead, obviously in a bout of spontaneous laughter. Beside him Raven's mouth hung open, her face looking absolutely horror-struck. He had to giggle at her expression. It drove him to wonder exactly _which _joke he had been telling.

Beast Boy set aside the first picture and proceeded to the next. This roll of film had most definitely been used up at the park—each photo portrayed the Titans under a cerulean dome of sky, accompanied by hot dogs (or tofu dogs, in BB's case), a well-worn football, and that omnipresent picnic blanket. Little kids in baseball caps ran aimlessly in the backdrop, under the adoring gazes of their parents, who relaxed in lawn chairs nearby.

A flood of memories rushed into Beast Boy's brain as he pored over each captured moment. Everything about the pictures just _screamed _summer, a time of year that he loved, especially in the freezing, abysmal chill of January.

  
Reluctantly, Beast Boy realized that he was nearing the end of the selected mound of photos. He didn't want them to end—he wished suddenly that there were more pictures that he could sift through, satisfying his curiosity and returning him to times and places he had forgotten existed. Maybe he would get a camera; take some of his own. That sounded like something he could occupy himself with, at least for a while. Who knew, maybe he'd start a scrapbook of his own…

He reached the last photo, and his musings stopped short.

The snapshot did not depict the verdant sprigs of grass or the colorful young inhabitants of the park that he had expected. There was no dome of sky, no little kids in baseball caps, no red-checked picnic blanket. The summery aura of the previous pictures dissolved at the grand entrance of the very last photo.

It was nighttime. In the backdrop, Beast Boy could see the blazing lights of the city that diluted the darkness, as well as an inky black sky which was penetrated by the occasional swirls of purple. To the side, the heel of Cyborg's right foot intruded into the picture—he must have been in mid-step when it was taken, Beast Boy supposed as he observed the out-of-place glint of metal.

Towering in the upper half of the photo, an immense light-up sign gleamed invitingly with neon shades of red and blue. "PIZZA" was its colossal message. Beneath the sign, a slab of narrow concrete stretched over the ground, leading on in both directions farther than the picture had been able to capture. On the sidewalk, face garnished with light and a prevailing grin, Beast Boy saw himself.

And Raven.

The two stood casually in front of the elaborate door of the pizza parlor, unaware that there was a camera anywhere near them. If they had known, it surely would not have turned out like this: so naturally. It was this factor of obliviousness that had caused Raven to leave her hood off, not allowing the stony expression she usually wore in pictures to prevail. And it was for this same reason that Beast Boy did not act like a total and complete idiot to impress the camera. They looked completely normal, relaxed, comfortable. No one had announced the picture. Nobody had told them to think of a pose before the flash went off. Beast Boy and Raven stood as themselves, simply and truly.

His hand rested on her shoulder, and he was gesturing outwards to something beyond sight, telling her about something or another. The grin he possessed was, for once, not fake. He didn't smile because someone told him to, or because he was aiming to please the world. He smiled because he was happy. This shone through conspicuously as he stood close to the dark girl, his friend and his balance.

Raven was turned to the side, and the photo captured perfectly the angle of her hair—short in the back, and long where it framed her face. She looked at him intently, giving him the full capacity of her attention, which he basked in as if it were sunlight. It wasn't often that Raven decided to devote herself to a conversation with anyone—especially not Beast Boy. But when she did, she stayed incredibly focused and attentive, concentrating on each comment that was said, choosing her own words carefully. It was amazing, he thought, the very preciseness of her nature.

Raven's profile was assured and calm against the highlighted backdrop of all those dancing lights. Her skin was a grayish white, patterned with foreign colors that reflected down on her from the blazing sign above. The oceanic blue of her cape wrapped around her body in modest beauty, and her hands fell tranquilly at her sides as she listened to the rants of her half-crazed friend. Raven's lashes were dark and smooth over the solid, azure color of her eyes. And, Beast Boy realized with a start—she was smiling.

It was slight, of course—coming from her, what smile wasn't? But it was a smile. It was Raven, smiling at him, caught in a moment, frozen in time forever. Every single time she smiled, and he would try to convince her of it, she would perpetually deny ever having allowed such an expression of happiness light her face. But here was his _proof_. Now, maybe she would listen to him. Now, maybe she would be able to see herself the way he saw her.

Beast Boy stared in awe at the picture in his hands, his surroundings completely forgotten. He studied the couple in the picture. He observed the place his hand touched her shoulder, the curve of her face as she smiled at him, the gleam in his own eyes as he rambled something off to her in innocence and delight. It was all there—the quiet placidity of her aura, the raucous animation of his, and the perfection of the combination.

It came upon him like a punch in the stomach, a slap in the face. He didn't think anything or admit anything, he did not even claim to understand what had just happened.

But he did not ever want to lose her again. He did not want to go another second without her near. He wanted to be close to her.

Now.

The shapeshifter replaced the photo in its stack, a glint of mingled worry, loss, revelation, determination, and adoration in his dark eyes. If that was even possible. He stood and started towards the door, his legs knowing exactly where he was going, but his brain having not the remotest idea. He almost made it, too. But Starfire was too quick.

"Beast Boy! You are leaving? Where do you proceed to go?" She waved a different pile of photos at him. "I located yet another set of photographs that you have not yet viewed!"

"'S okay. I'm not really…up to it…" Beast Boy gyrated to face her, and tensed suddenly, aware of the situation at hand.

As if hearing the conversation in the room for the first time, Cyborg paused the game and swiveled around to face his friend, one arm over the back of the couch, and one eyebrow raised suspiciously. "What is _with _you, man? You've been completely out of it all night!"

Starfire nodded in eager agreement, and Robin tossed his controller onto the table to turn on Beast Boy as well. His head popped up over the back of the sofa beside Cyborg's, and Starfire continued to gaze pleadingly from the floor. Oh, great. They were ganging up on him.

"Yeah, Beast Boy, it isn't like you," Robin pointed out concernedly. "Where _are _you going?"

Beneath their anticipating stares, BB rubbed the back of his head apprehensively. "Well…um…I thought I'd go visit Raven."

This time, everyone's eyebrows jerked up. There was a deafening silence—Starfire's scissors ceased to cut the photo she had been working on, Cyborg halted chewing his most recent mouthful of Chex Mix, and the only sound that could be heard in the room was the distant tinkling of video game music that emitted from the paused screen. Finally, Robin spoke up, his face softened by sympathy, but pinched with confusion.

"Beast Boy…she's asleep."

The green boy found himself chuckling nervously, and searching desperately for an explanation.

"I, uh…well, in case she wakes up. Don't want her to be alone, ya know?"

He held his breath, waiting for their responses. Beast Boy fidgeted in place, uncomfortable beneath the intensity of their looks. An insane blush took over his face, and he stared at the ground, wishing suddenly that he could reverse everything, just to be safely back on the carpet looking at pictures…

No. He couldn't go back on this now, obviously. Without breathing another word of explanation to his friends, Beast Boy turned on his heel and shuffled quietly through the door.

After listening to his footsteps disappear down the hall, the three remaining Titans could do nothing but exchange incredulous glances. Had he really just said that? Didn't he realize that if he intruded upon her privacy, Raven was going to blow his little green head off? What in the world was he thinking?

Slowly, Starfire reached down and scooped Beast Boy's displaced photo into her palm. The alien girl studied the snapshot she had taken of her two very different friends, and understood. After all, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened. She raised her eyes, and found herself, oddly enough, exchanging a knowing glance with Robin. A slow smile crept over his face, and it was contagious. Starfire grinned in delight.

Cyborg looked from Robin to Starfire and back again, sensing the unstoppable flow of knowledge that was passing between them, and raised a single dubious eyebrow. "Okay…did I miss something?"

**************************************************************************************

For the perverts out there: get your mind out of the gutter! This is rated PG-13! :P

Well, that chapter was random, huh? More so than the others, anyway. Like I said, the angst needed a break. And it was wake-up time. In the wise words of BB: "Wakey wakey, tofu eggs and bakey!" lol. If you didn't like the change of pace, the next chapter should make you happy. It will return to the angst and depth that the story had originally…just from a different point of view. By the way, the coming chapter shouldn't be a long wait, since it's already written. I just have to type it up. I wrote it first, even before "From the Dark." Yeah, that's the crazy person that I am, writing the last chapter first.

Hm, you know what I have realized? I've been making up words. Apparently, things like "unfallen," "rivered," and "humongous" are not words in the English language. o.O

I sure hope you're enjoying all these Robin/Starfire moments…I know I am. Also, if you go back and reread some of that R/S fluff (from this chapter and the last), you'll notice that I made many references to the song "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel, which is what I call their theme song. Seriously, it could have been _written _for them.

As I promised, the URL to R&B 'Shippers United (which you are still invited to join): 

Last, but not least, I must tell you that there is only one chapter left. I think you'll like it. Well, I hope you'll like it. Until then, please be kind…review. It is so very helpful. ^_^


	4. Life Among the Dead

****

Author's Note: Well, guys, we're finally here.

The last chapter.

When I saw "Fear Itself," I was vaguely reminded of this installment of the fic. I promise you, however, that I did not take this idea from the episode, because it was written long before I knew anything about Season 2.

This is also the shortest…heh…not surprising, though, after those insanely long first three. I guess the last one didn't need much to get its point across. It's probably the most thoughtful chapter, too, if that's even possible. I mean, hardly anything happens here, it's basically just an entrance to Raven's thoughts.

I found this chapter particularly easy to write, in comparison to the others. I think anyone can identify with Raven in some way or another, and I have found that I do…in more ways than one. Usually I compare myself to Starfire, but I cannot toss aside the profound part of me that flows so much like Raven. I see myself in her character, in her actions and words, in what thoughts must be running through her mind. In my own way, I feel the same things she does. I know what it's like to be trapped beneath the burden of the things you cannot control.

I had fun entering Raven's inner psyche in this chapter, and it was not all that difficult. Her thoughts came out as easily as if they were my own (because, often, they _are _my own). I actually used the way I feel about some people in my life as a tool to help me put to words how Raven felt about Beast Boy. Believe it or not, rereading my diaries and some old poems I had written was useful as I entered Raven's character. Why do you think I am so into this pairing? I see _myself_ in these characters, and I see the people all around me. The entire show is an incarnation of my relationships with people. Saying that I don't believe in this coupling would be like saying I don't believe in the truths I've discovered from my own life.

There's another song dedication at the beginning of this one, but not one that you'll expect. I think it goes well with the contents of the chapter, though. The point of this installment was basically to give Raven a say about everything. I wanted to give some insight into her coma, as well as provide an opportunity for her to reflect on herself and on her relationship with Beast Boy. Also note that the Raven you read about here will be somewhat different from the one you've known from previous chapters. Before, it was all about how the rest of the world sees her…how we see her. This is about how she sees herself. There may be a striking difference.

Anywho, there will not be any sequels to this ficcie, as much as the ending may leave you thinking, "That's it?" I had a point to make, and it has been made. It's up to you to make your own ending for this fic; it's up to you to continue keepin' the faith in the R/BB relationship.

Be on the lookout for "Tea With Terra," the new fan fiction co-authored by Mint Dragon, my sister Aliute, and I. The first chapters, all written by Mint Dragon, will be under her name. The conclusion, written by Aliute and I, will be considered part two and posted under mine. We hope you enjoy it. ^_^

Thank you for all the support you've provided…God bless.

Like Toast always says, I wonder if anyone actually reads these things, anyway? :)

-Alys

****

Dedication: With love, I hereby dedicate this chapter to every last one of the Raven/Beast Boy 'shippers…the ones who I have been privileged to get to know, the ones I haven't met who are avidly supporting elsewhere, and the ones who still cower in the shadows for fear that they will be crushed and insulted for their opinions. You are my guiding light, my hope, and sometimes the only thing that keeps me believing. For any of you who are reading now: take this. It's a lighter…the representation of your faith in R/BB. When it flickers out, your faith has been diminished. Don't ever let this little flame waver. Everything will turn out for the best…remember, good things come to those who wait. In all of you there is unity, and in unity lies strength. Thank you for your perseverance, devotion, understanding, crying shoulders, optimism, and unsurpassable faith. I love you all.

****

Replies:

Toast: Oh, you've started on the new ficcie? Yay! ^_^ Don't worry, however it turns out (happy, angsty, or mix), I know it's going to be marvelous. After all, you wrote it…

Marshmello Da Strawberry Cow: Vision of stamps?

Le Chat de Darigan: Yeah, I only realized that after I posted the last chapter. T_T

Darkness Gathering: O.O Five…years? That's…a long time…kind of reminds me of BB (in the fic, at least). I can't believe I made you cry after a stretch of time like that. I don't know whether to apologize or celebrate. I'm glad someone appreciates that I reply to all these reviews, cuz I know some people get annoyed with all the space it takes up at the beginning. Thanks for being so encouraging in your reviews; I can rest now knowing that anyone who flames me will go to hell. lol!

Krimzon Dawn: _What? _You've got to be kidding me. Dahlin, there are many writers here at FF.Net who surpass me, let alone the entire great world of contributions to the English language. Also, I like this ghetto dumpster of FF.Net. It's my kind of place. XD But thanks for the compliments anyway! And when is the next chappie of "Tabula Rasa" coming…? Oh, by the way, Terra may own, but she does not own me! Muahahahahahahahaha! Ahem.

Seth Turtle: I agree…screw the show, let's read fan fiction. XD God, by the way, I am loving your new fan fiction. But you already knew that. **dies**

eventidespirit: Don't you dare feel inadequate—I would give anything to make my fics half as original as yours. Sure, I may use flowery language, but it doesn't mean a thing. I could never have thought up some of the things that you have (like "The Misfits"…that is such a good idea, I hate you for it! Why couldn't I have thought up something like that?) It's not pointless fluff. "Love Bites" was marvelous as far as entering character relationships. "The Misfits" is far beyond fluff, it's an ingenious idea that you could go so many places with. I was just waiting for someone to write "Control," the fan fic world needed it desperately. You won't believe how grateful I was to see that someone accomplished a story that managed to portray Terra as she actually is: not evil, but a misled basket case. Heh. You're a really awesome writer—trust me, I can tell when I see one.

Nightling: Heehee, I was thinking that as well. But I just couldn't resist giving Link, my beloved Hero of Time, the spotlight for a moment. :)

Incrediblecuznz: Yes, someone who finally understands what I think! I wish to God that Teen Titans had one solid writer, because the various writers screw with the characters whenever they feel like it (Amy Wolfram…grrr). That's what makes the show (in Toast's words) so out-of-character. It's like they don't even sit down and talk about what will happen, they just throw in whatever they want. In my personal opinion (and this may be just me, the subject is open to argument), I think different writers are like us—they support different fan couplings. They like to drop hints in their favored coupling's direction. Pro-R/BB writers: Rob Hoegee ("Final Exam," "Every Dog Has His Day"), Greg Klein and Tom Pugsley ("Nevermore," "Masks"). I always look forward to eppies written by them. ^_^ Of course, my theory could be absolute bull…which it probably is…oh well.

troubled-ego: Is this the same troubled-ego who wrote the comedic genius fan fiction, "School Woes"? Oh! **kisses the feet of troubled-ego** You rock!

TrickyFrog: Whee, another hater of the episode "Terra." We can never have too many. Ah well, I suppose the fast pace of it was due to the fact that it is doomed, which is fine by me. ^_^ Still despise it, though.

Change-Of-Heart2: Oh my God. Oh…my God. I just read some of your poems and…_do you have any idea how frickin good you are?!_ Holy crap…I think we have the same mind, because some of those verses, I swear to God, are exactly what I feel like sometimes, and even similar to some things I have written. I especially liked "Autumn," what awesome imagery (I once wrote a poem about autumn too) and "Falling," (I wrote a poem with that title too, what is this, the Twilight Zone?) because it reminded me of Raven…and while we're at it, consider yourself a Raven at heart, because most of those poems are things she could relate to. I am just overwhelmed. "Walk With Me" was like a poetic incarnation of a new one-shot I'm working on. I feel so unoriginal now, though I know it's not my fault, since I never read your poems before I wrote my work, but it doesn't matter. You rock, absolutely and totally, and I hope you write some TT poetry sometime, because you know I'd love to read it. *continues to stare at Change-Of-Heart2 in shock* You have humbled me…I am nothing compared to you.

Life sucks, get used to it: *nods up at Change-Of-Heart2* There's some poetry you may want to read. Hope you got my e-mail. 

With all that said, enjoy. I hope you like it.

************************************************************************

__

I had no choice…but to hear you. You stated your case time and again. I thought about it. You treat me like I'm a princess…I'm not used to liking that. You ask how my day was…you've already won me over, in spite of me. And don't be alarmed if I fall, head over feet—and don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are. I couldn't help it; it's all your fault! Your love is thick, and it swallowed me whole. You're so much braver than I give you credit for. That's not lip service…you've already won me over, in spite of me. And don't be alarmed if I fall, head over feet—and don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are. I couldn't help it; it's all your fault! You are the bearer of unconditional things. You held your breath…and the door for me. Thanks for your patience…you're the best listener that I've ever met. You're my best friend—best friend with benefits. What took me so long? I've never felt this healthy before. I've never wanted something rational. I am aware now, oh…I am aware now…you've already won me over, in spite of me. And don't be alarmed if I fall, head over feet—and don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are. I couldn't help it; it's all your fault!

-"Head Over Feet," Alanis Morissette

************************************************************************

The Voice was everywhere.

Its sound pummeled Raven from every direction like a million unwanted fists punching out at her. Every chord in her body reacted to it in a different way, sending her reeling and stumbling in all directions at once, powerless. Though she knew she stood still, the rage whirled so fiercely inside her that she had the urge to vomit—but it was not possible; her sealed lips struggled to part and let her sickness pass, but her efforts were futile. Someone had glued her lips together, and was speaking for her, in her, through her. 

Raven's mind tried to register the words she wanted her mouth to say. _Azarath metrion zinthos. Say it!_ she commanded her frozen body, as it inwardly convulsed, knocking the wind out of her. She fell to the ground, groping at nothing but the blackness before her, reaching for the hand that would never come.

Abruptly, the tornado stopped.

Raven looked up, her palms still on the ground. She felt, in her own eyes, a cold gleam—a sort of glistened chill that possessed every frightening secret carried by the darkness. 

And then, a smile spread over her thin lips. One that felt little, and cared even less. It was not her own, and yet it was hers in every way imaginable…the smile took control, driving away whatever light was left. It knew of its own conquest. Her grin widened rapidly, and she opened her mouth to speak:

__

I'm awake, Raven.

***

"Ah!"

Raven shot up from her pillows as a bullet piercing the night air, her gasp stabbing madly at the silence in the room. Mechanically her hand flew to her mouth to prevent the gasp from evolving into a scream, and she shuddered violently, drawing short, sharp measures of breath into her lungs.

Slowly, Raven let her head fall into her hands; she was itching to sob, but repressed the emotion wisely and began to rub her temples in a desperate attempt to calm herself. Already black orbs were forming around various objects in her darkened room, due to the unrestrained energy that fled from her body. Raven closed her eyes in heavy deliberation as the orbs bulged, threatening to shatter her possessions. Though fine strands of violet hair had fallen slightly in her face, she didn't dare lift her hand to brush them away—to break her own concentration would mean to risk losing all the artifacts she had so carefully organized around the room, including the bed that she slept in.

For a while she listened only to the sound of her own breathing and the pulse of the heartbeat in her ears—signs that she really was awake, not trapped in the nightmare that had haunted her throughout her coma. She touched her hand to each of her arms, then to her forehead, realizing that her entire body was doused in a cold sweat. The bed sheets were a massive, twisted jumble around her, and after she watched the orbs of unsuppressed emotion fade and evanesce into the air, she set about straightening them.

This task kept her mind distracted only a few moments before it returned to the unspoken horrors of her recurring dream. Raven did her best not to relive the sickening strain of the nightmare, but it was impossible—shivers rampaged up and down her spine as she remembered the feeling of vulnerability that had possessed her. Recalling the unfulfilled desire to speak her words, she inhaled deeply.

"Azarath metrion zinthos."

The words sounded clear and reassuring as she whispered them in her own familiar tone of voice. Raven breathed an audible sigh of relief at the comforting knowledge that she was in control.

Feeling soothed, she stopped for the first time to let her senses draw in the nature of her surroundings. It was deathly cold in the room. The blankets concealing her body felt rather like sheets of ice over her bare legs, and the winter chill found its way to her feet and nipped at them mercilessly. Perhaps Starfire had turned the air conditioning on again; she tended to be warm no matter what time of year it was, and didn't understand the way the late January winds chilled the human body.

__

Warmth, Raven thought dolefully. _There's something I could go for right now. _She wrapped her arms around her trembling body and envisioned a mug of hot tea just the way she liked it: with one small scoop of sugar, and tidbits of sage. She salivated at the recollection of its taste…but was only racked by more shivers at the remembrance of its warmth.

Sitting there in her bed, she considered heading to the main room and fixing herself a pot…but decided against it. She could tell that the Tower was asleep by the eerie silence that had settled over it like fog, quieting her chatty friends and delivering the oppressive mist of slumber to their eyes. She had no intention of waking them with the irritating whistle of a teapot—despite the countless times they annoyed her, she never thought once about doing the same to them. It wasn't in her nature. And besides, they didn't purposely mean to aggravate her—she understood that they were only trying to help.

Raven sighed faintly, realizing that there was nothing left for her to do but go back to sleep. Slowly she laid her head back against the pillows, the blankets up to her chin, and tried to relax, to surrender. But the sheets were stone cold around her, the very room a chilling dark domain, and the contents of her dream were flitting through her brain like caged birds that had broken free.

She remembered that something momentous had occurred just before she woke up; something untold, horrible, worse even than the previous feelings of rage that had seized her body and took control of it. Worse than the desperate attempts to part her frozen lips and speak, worse than the sudden jolts of pain that had thrashed her so relentlessly. There was something, she knew, that came involuntarily, dangerously, and very, very slowly—calm, gleaming, it had crept inch by inch from the shadows…

__

I'm awake, Raven.

Her eyes widened as the image rushed back to her like a forgotten memory. The glint in her eyes. The ice in her soul. And worst of all, the slow, prevailing smile and The Voice that emerged from her own lips.

Raven felt a maddening surge of panic as her large almond eyes darted around the empty room, dark save for the tiny sliver of light from the hallway that had found its way under her door. The darkness seemed to grow darker, the silence become steadily louder, and the consuming fear in her heart spread with the rapidity of fire—but the deadening cold of ice. 

Raven felt her pulse quicken involuntarily and her heart drop into her stomach with a deafening _thud._ Perhaps it was the haunting image of her father that still prevailed in her head time and time again; perhaps it was the frightening aftershock of a painful battle and an imprisoning week-long coma. Whatever the cause, she could feel her demons catching up with her. The demons that only she could fight. Raven suddenly felt utterly, utterly alone.

With the expression of a child who is afraid of the dark, the young woman squeezed her eyes shut. She clutched the blankets around her as she lay helpless, fearing—fearing sleep, fearing reality, fearing the darkness from which things crawled to feed upon her soul. Her body numbing, she heard the six desperate words plea and echo in her mind:

__

I don't want to be alone.

It was only then that she heard the breathing.

Long, soft inhalations rose up from somewhere beneath Raven that were not her own. The respiration was so quiet that it was barely audible, but now that she had acknowledged it, she could hear it perfectly: slow, peaceful intakes of air that were conspicuously the result of heavy sleep. She held her own breath and listened intently, concentrating on the sound of the breath being drawn in and pushed out.

Someone else was in her room.

Now distracted from her fears, Raven sat up and gazed around in confusion, searching for the origin of the sound. For some reason, it did not frighten her, though the sudden realization that she was not alone in her room probably should have—rather, the soft sound of another person's respiration seemed to soothe her and dissolve her fears. The slow breaths were consistent and familiar, though she still could not pinpoint who they belonged to, or where they were coming from.

Cautiously, Raven peered over the edge of her bed, squinting in the scarce light pouring from under the door. There on the hard tile, curled into a humble ball to shield himself from the cold, slept Beast Boy.

Raven cocked her head slightly in curiosity, not entirely sure what she was seeing. Beast Boy? On her floor? In the middle of the night? Surely her eyes were deceiving her. She blinked, mouth slightly agape, at the apparition that was offering her some sort of comfort.

__

What is he doing here? she asked herself once her foggy brain had registered that he was the real thing, flesh and blood. Of course, she already knew the answer, because she knew Beast Boy. Ridiculous, brainless, idiotic, conceited. But undeniably caring. He had not wanted her to be alone. He knew how much she valued her privacy, and how risky it would be just to venture into her room and lie on the floor beside her bed and breathe with her. But somehow, he also knew that secretly the last thing she wanted to be that night was _alone_. He was willing to chance a battle with her temper so that he might…brighten things up.

__

Wow.

Quietly, Raven reclined back onto her bed, propping her head on her hand for a better view of the sleeping boy. She allowed her thoughts to flow, each one connected to the last, as rivers branching out over the realm of her mind.

He had been the one with her when she woke up, hadn't he? Raven inwardly nodded at her own question. Everything about her coma and the time after it were still fuzzy, but she could at least remember that. Beast Boy had been talking to her and…holding her hand. Suddenly she wished more than anything that she could remember what he'd said. Normally she wasn't interested in angsty, tearful, dramatic speeches rattled off to people in comas—she'd seen a million of them on TV, and they were all the same—but the fact that she was the comatose one, and he was the one speaking to her, made all the difference.

Raven could remember only the very last thing that he had told her. _Don't leave me. _And that was when she had gathered the physical strength to part her lips and whisper her reply: _I won't. _When he realized that she was awake, he'd completely flipped out, but—

__

Don't leave me.

There were times when she really despised Beast Boy; when his corny jokes and his unrepressed egotism drove her to her last straw. Occasionally she'd have to retreat to her room and meditate just to force down her frustration with his perpetual lightheaded antics. Surely there were times when, if she had not learned years ago to keep her emotions in check, she would have strangled him or blown his head off just to get him to shut the hell up. Still, she was finding it impossible to forget the warm pressure of his hand on hers…

__

Don't think like that, she scolded herself.

__

But I was so cold—he woke me up—

Raven closed her eyes forcefully to shut out her thoughts. She replaced them where they belonged—her subconscious—and reverted herself back to thoughts as innocent as if she were talking about her little brother.

Beast Boy was, perhaps, the most annoying person she had ever known (second only to Starfire on holidays). But he meant well. He had always meant well. She understood that.

Raven reopened her eyes to gaze down on her complete opposite…if she lived in a book, all the English teachers would say that he was her foil character. She didn't give him enough credit. He always had such good intentions, but she was constantly pushing him away, shutting him out, turning her back on his every attempt to please her. Beast Boy probably wasn't used to people just _not liking _him, and that was precisely the message she knew her dark, critical aura conveyed.

__

Wait. Me? Feeling sorry for Beast Boy? Raven shook her head slightly. _I must really be losing it._

With unblinking metallic-blue eyes, she watched him sleep. In the dim light he was just a dark form, huddled in the shadow cast by her looming bed. His green skin was discolored in the faint light, his outline barely traceable against the darkness. Vaguely, Raven could make out his face. For once, it was sober—the laughing olive-green eyes closed, the usually-smiling lips expressionless and calm. His resting body seemed to radiate peace, and Raven found herself forgetting what she had been afraid of…

__

Trigon. She could remember distinctly what had happened the last time things had gotten out of control. She had almost killed.

Raven shuddered once more, and fingered the ice-cold blankets absently. Beast Boy had been there then, too. He and Cyborg had somehow managed to get themselves sucked into her mind. She glowered at the recollection of this; she had never really forgiven them for wandering into her forbidden room, let alone toying with her mirror. Though, of course, she knew that their presence was for the best. Raven still felt as if she owed them something, because she never could have defeated the rage in her own mind without their reassuring backup.

Well, for one thing, she would surely be gone by now if Beast Boy had not dived after her when she fell. She'd been only half-conscious, and positive that she was going to die. And then he had appeared out of nowhere in hawk form, carrying her back up to solid ground (if you could call anything solid in that place)—and she knew that she was going to be okay.

__

That's a perfect metaphor for how it is with him, Raven thought bluntly. _Whenever he comes, I just get this feeling that everything is going to be okay—our battles, my personal issues, the world. It's almost like he—_

What are you saying?  


Startled by her own revelations, Raven tensed up in defense and gave her sentimental side a good bash in the head, once again directing her thoughts away from what she didn't want to admit. Beast Boy was her friend, one of her closest; but she would leave it at that.

Raven exhaled, and relaxed again. It seemed strange to her…the one person she used to think didn't care for her at all was now the one sleeping on the floor beside her bed in the middle of the dry, chilly January night. Odd how the friendship had gotten off to such a rocky start before it morphed into something thriving and full. She could recall the way she used to think about him…he was loud constantly, and bursting with a vitality that secretly she coveted. She believed that he didn't care about her in the least—not that she really minded; he was such an idiotic moron that it would be an insult to her intelligence just to be friends with him. Still…part of Raven was deeply saddened by this gap between her teammate and herself.

That was Timid's doing. If there was one of Raven's counterparts that annoyed her the most, it was Timid. Always weeping, apologizing, complaining that no one liked her. Though the gray-cloaked alter ego had never made up a big portion of Raven's mind, she still existed as a vital part of her personality.

It was odd, the way Raven compared herself with the other Titans. Much of her mind claimed superiority over their more immature ones, and yet a part of her put herself below them. They were always having fun in some shape or form: competing at video games, dancing at raves, going out for pizza and getting themselves into noisy brawls over what the toppings would be. Even when they just sat around talking, they were perpetually happy, outgoing, loud…just a few things that Raven could never be, even if she wanted to. She wasn't like the rest of them. She was different; she stood out like an ebony-black raven tends to do against a sea of brighter, happier, color-strewn birds. Part of her enjoyed this individuality that came so naturally to her, and yet part of her despised it. She loathed the fact that as they were talking and arguing and laughing, she had retreated into a corner with one of her leather-bound volumes, alone. She hindered their vitality; her very presence made them strain their personalities out of concern for her. They were incessantly trying to get her to open up to them, to warm her with their smiles, to melt her with their kindness…but the thing was, no matter how hard they tried, they would _never _soften her. She would eternally remain stone-still Raven, ice-cold Raven; she would forever be chained to this obligation to hold herself back…and as they went on in their happy little worlds, she would remain unchanged, and they would leave her behind. They would forget her as easily as the January dawn forgets the night, in all its glorious colors and bands of light.

Occasionally she was so happy around them that she wanted to burst out of her shell and crack up laughing…sometimes she was so upset that the pent-up emotion from containing her sobs was almost more than she could bear. And then there were the times when she felt so intensely angry, she wanted to unleash her fury on whatever—or whoever—crossed her path. But Raven's emotions were dangerous, and the weight of the world was on her shoulders. To her friends, the only thing she could ever be was stony, tranquil, silent, emotionless Raven. And more than anything, she pined to show them just how many colors she had, just how much happiness there was to contradict the neutrality. She ached to jump up from where she sat and run screaming, letting fly whatever was trapped in her soul, and not minding one bit about the chaos she created. Sometimes she was terrified that she would actually do it. It was only the powerful command of self-discipline that prevented her from losing her mind, and her life along with it.

This unconscious, unpurged desire to break free from her bonds took a high toll on her self-esteem…_she wanted to be more. _She did not want to be forever condemned to this life she had so unwillingly been born into. Couldn't they see that she didn't choose to be this way? All of them were blind; none of them had any ability to look beneath the surface and question what underlying emotion ravaged there. So none of them could ever know the truth of who she really was…no one would ever attempt to see the quiet reflection, brooding rage, or contented devotion that existed within the heart of the dark girl. And could she blame them? It wasn't their responsibility to figure out who she was, or even to like her and take her in as their friend. Raven knew that she wasn't exactly a lovable person, and she had accepted this, but at a high price. Despite how much she owed them, there was nothing she could give to her friends in return. She wanted to be more for them, but like so many other things in her life, it was impossible.

That was how it had been with Beast Boy too. But now—Raven sucked in her breath, bracing herself for the impacting thought—now, she did not feel that way around him. Occasionally, after he had cracked some joke and was eyeing her in hopeful anticipation, she would roll her eyes in annoyance or reply with a stony stare that eventually made him turn away. Or, if she was in a good mood, she would offer him a tiny smile. But no matter what her reaction, she always felt a new, deep appreciation for herself stir within her. It was at these times that—she didn't know why, but—she felt _beautiful_. Like she was seeing herself through another person's eyes, a person who admired her and looked up to her. And she would allow her response to Beast Boy's statement just come naturally, knowing that whatever it was would be something beautiful. Raven didn't have to _prove _anything more to him, or be anything for him beyond what she had to be, because no matter what her reaction, he would always return that rapid, vivacious grin…

Raven's eyes came back into focus as she stared at the sleeping boy below her bed.

__

Only you are the life among the dead.

She nearly jumped in surprise at the way the song lyric popped into her head. _What was that? _she interrogated herself in shock. It was only the one verse that came, and then disappeared just as suddenly, becoming a fading vapor in her brain.

That song. She remembered that song.

Ah, yes. Evanescence. Once she had woken up (and eaten a bit of that dire hospital food), she had found an arrangement of flowers and get-well cards from all of the Titans, and a few fans, crowding a small table next to the bed. She had read each one carefully—inwardly giggling at the obsessive concern of her fans, allowing a few gaping, awed expressions creep up on her face at the sorrowful cards and notes from her friends. There had been one particularly lengthy letter on Starfire's part that had given her the feeling someone was wringing her heart out.

Amidst the suffocating array there had been a single CD—unwrapped, and radiating the colors black and blue. Intrigued, Raven had turned it over and over in her white palms until she finally recognized the title of that song she liked: _Bring Me to Life._

There had been no note on the gift to specify who it was from, so Raven assumed it was the offering of one of her many fans. She smiled slightly. Fans. They were very amusing.

It had surprised her that a fan should know her so well, though.

As her eyes drifted into focus once again, Raven exuded another violent shudder at the temperature in the room. God, it was freezing in here.

She gazed once more into Beast Boy's face, feeling a sudden, sharp pang of guilt. She should have realized earlier that there was nothing covering him; if _she _was this abysmally cold, then surely he was dreaming about the next ice age.

Raven sat up again, quietly flung the covers from her legs, and, with all the strength she could muster, climbed out of the soft refuge. Her feet hit the ice-cold tile hard as she stumbled and swayed, trying to carry her own weight. Though it had been an entire week since she woke up, her injuries were still serious. She faltered, slouching visibly, and placed one hand on her bed to regain her balance. Abruptly the young woman steadied her trembling knees, her eyes traveling across the room—weren't there any extra blankets in here?

__

Of course not.

With an audible sigh of resignation, Raven gave a forceful tug on the blanket just below her palm, and it pulled free easily from the bed. It wouldn't kill her to go without it—after all, he needed it more than she did.

The dark girl gathered the heavy comforter in her arms, staggering beneath the burden of its weight, and carefully made her way toward Beast Boy's shadowy figure. She stood near his face, one hand still clutching her mattress for support. Gingerly, so as not to wake him, she let the blanket float over his sleeping body. It drifted downwards as expected, gently encasing her friend with the comfort of its plush folds, enveloping him in sweet warmth.

Without a moment's hesitation, Raven knelt beside him to smooth the places where the fabric had bunched up, disheveled. She did this stealthily, but softly—as if the world would crumble at the opening of his eyes. A confusing aspect was etched into her gray features…to look at her, one would not have been able to guess what silver thoughts spurred through her mind. There was a serenity in her face, but also a fear, and an uncharacteristic tenderness. Secrets swam in pools behind those dark eyes, and they were far beyond anything the average human being could understand.

But, as Starfire had once said, there were many things about Raven that were not meant to be understood. Her expression could be deciphered no easier than her poetry.

Slowly Raven pulled herself up again, her task completed, and cringed at the pain that shot through her side. She ignored it bravely. In silence she ambled away from her sleeping friend, her usual grace marred by her pain and lack of strength. Yet she carried her cross with an aura of dignity—and the will of a fighter.

"Raven?"

Aside from nearly falling over in shock, her heart gave an unexpected lurch at the sound of his voice.

"Raven," came the voice again, obviously Beast Boy's, but in half-awake drawl mode. "You're awake?"

The girl turned to face him, her mouth slightly agape in surprise. She composed herself quickly, straightened, and cleared her throat. 

"Not for long," she replied darkly.

Beast Boy stirred a bit beneath his newly found comforter and emitted a slight moan. "Man, I was snorin', wasn' I?" he muttered. "Sorry."

Raven bit her lip as a smile threatened at the corners of her mouth. "It's okay. I woke up on my own," she replied, her voice softening.

She waited there for a few moments, leaning against her bed and staring alertly at the boy just below her, awaiting a response. When none came, she supposed he had gone back to sleep, and began to climb quietly into her own bed—despite the fact that it had been relieved of its only heat source, of course.

Abruptly a slurred voice rose from the floor, and a startled Raven turned to her friend again.

"Tofu, Raven," came the drawl.

At this she raised an amused eyebrow and shook her head slightly. Okay, he was _definitely _out of it.

Below her, the words repeated themselves in Beast Boy's mind once more before he drifted back into the surrender of sleep:

__

Love you, Raven.

The girl crawled beneath the thin, scarce sheets stretched over her bed, and allowed her mind to relax. She did not understand him in the least. And he could never claim to understand her. But whenever she began to fall through the frigid January air, he was the one to catch her. And whenever she drifted into the unknown abyss of darkness, he was the one to offer her light. When she felt as if she was going to die, he was the one to bring her to life. That was all that mattered.

Raven felt her eyes grow heavy with sleep, and heard the thoughts in her head bubble and refuse to make sense. Colors skidded in and out of focus, waltzing before her eyelids in swift mobile swirls. There was one last thing that her body registered to her mind before she drifted in dream; a revelation that somehow did not surprise her in the least:

…She was warm.

~The End~


End file.
